November 26, 2007

Soundboard - 11/26/07

"Brian Rodriguez's A Series of Unfortunate Events"

Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. What I have to say today is not a reflection on anyone specific or on any actions as of late. As you are aware this season has had it fair share of drama and setbacks and pregnancy scares and hostage situations and etc. But I'm here today to tell you all that we're finally on a steady road of professionalism which should be up and around... next year.

Oh let's be honest.. Things haven't been the best they could be. We hyped up the season like no tomorrow and we hired new talent, created a schedule to give everyone something unique and look what's happened: Personal setbacks, emergencies, scheduling conflicts and don't forget the holiday season. The first half of the season always starts off pretty rough but I can honestly tell you that we're gonna more than make up for it after the holidays but just cause we're not on our "A game" doesn't mean that we're going out as a flop at the end of this year.

So the rest of this year is pretty much set: we come back on Dec 3rd to Dec 14th and take another vacation for Christmas break til Jan 7th. By then all the holidays are gone, and we can finally focus on you the reader because we firmly believe in what we write and we want to always give you the best that we can and honestly I can't speak for everybody on my team but me personally I know I haven't been giving you my best and for that I am sorry. So I'll put everything into this upcoming column next week and I know my team will do the same. The Brian Factor you know and love will return, I promise.

So Until Next Week,
-Brian Rodriguez

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November 16, 2007

Echoes Of The Factor - 11/16/07

UNHINDERED


Comment Submitted By Cerebral Cortex Re: "Unhindered: Comedians":

One of the things I've wondered is why there seem to be so many more good male comedians than female ones. Off the top of my head, I can name several male comedians I like -- George Carlin, Dane Cook, Kevin James, Nick Swardson, etc. -- but I can't really think of any female ones.


Response From Marie:

There are very few career comedians, and it's true that there fewer comediennes. One of the biggest is Kathy Griffin, who has Bravo specials as well as her series My Life on the D-List. There's also Margaret Cho, who has several DVDs of her performances. Paula Poundstone is on NPR a lot, and I got to see her live in Santa Cruz. Some very funny women have been featured on Comedy Central Presents; my favorites are Elvira Kurt, Judy Gold, and Maria Bamford, and their half-hour TV specials can be downloaded on iTunes. Debra DiGiovanni cracked me up when she was on Last Comic Standing.

I think that more and more female comics are beginning to make it big. One of the newest and largest types of gigs are for women comedians on lesbian cruises, something that I know both Griffin and Cho have done (though neither of them are lesbians). It's particular niches like that in the stand-up job market that are going to allow more funny women to reach wider audiences and establish their fan bases.

And, of course, it is still largely a man's world. Gilda Radner and Jane Curtain were crack-ups on SNL back in the day, but their careers didn't take off like those of Steve Martin and Chevy Chase (a'course, they are funny too).


SEXUCATION



Comment Submitted By Andy Re: Sexucation: Sex vs Sleep:

In my opinion, scheduling sex is a bad idea. There should definitely be limitations as to when and when not to attempt sexual activities as well as exceptions to these limitations, but scheduling sex, or anything for that matter, can lead to expectations, and expectations can lead to a various forms of "disappointment." When my last partner and I would "schedule" somethings, whether it was sexual or not, things always came up on her ends. Maybe she was just the sort of person who couldn't commit to anything, but these types of situations could arise in any relationship. Then, of course, sometimes this scheduling of sex, leading to expectations and all, can put pressure on either or both partners which in turn can have negative side effects on the sex itself, e.g. performance anxiety, etc. I'm not saying that planning is a bad idea. I'm not saying that sex shouldn't be considered an integral part of a couple's relationship. I just don't agree with the whole "scheduling of sex." As I mentioned, there should be limitations. For example, if you know your partner has to get up early the next morning, you should know better than to wear them out the whole night through. I remember the last time I had sex I yawn after word and the woman asked me, "You aren't usually up this late are you?" and I looked at the clock and said, "No, I usually don't stay up 'til 5AM," and she quickly left because sex had made the hours pass by faster than she had thought. Sex is good for the body and mind, relieving much stress, and my previous partner actually got a better night's sleep after each time we made love, but everyone experiences sex differently from one another, and there must be limitations if you cannot have your cake and eat it too (have both sleep AND sex.) Of course, I also mentioned that there should be exceptions to the limitations. Sometimes your partner's craving can feel like a real NEED for sex so strong that them trying to give you your sleep may actually be causing them to lose sleep, and so just as your partner will try to respect the limitations already set, you should try to respect the exceptions.

- Andy "Ride the Bull" Miller



Response From Lady Temptress:

Thank you! Sex should not be on a schedule! With all the hours I'm currently working, I had to think about this, but my love and I have come to an agreement, no late night sex if either of us have worked more than 10 hours, And definitely if we are drunk! LOL! I also agree with you, that lack of sleep does cause bad sex. I found I can't give the best blow job or hand job. So anyhoo, thank you very much! I appreciate your comments!

Until next time,
Lady Temptress


BRIAN'S SONG


Comment Submitted By Cerebral Cortex Re: "Brian's Song - Du Hast":

Alright, I'm gonna be a silly little bitch (sorry, I just saw Dane Cook last night) and ask: But do you get it? Don't worry, I was a Rammstein fan long before I knew German, but here's a hint to get you started: there's a difference between the verbs haben and hassen, and their respective informal second person conjugations, hast and hasst.


Response From Brian:

"But do you get it?"

In truth no I don't, but then again I never tried to in the first place. Rammstein for me has always been about the energy and the atmosphere. Learning German is on my list of things to do, but I'm in no rush. Sometimes you just need to take things at face value, otherwise it's loses it magic.

But what the hell do i know... I don't speak German!!

TKO


Comment Submitted By Cerebral Cortex Re: "T.K.O- Trust":

A lot of things will make more sense if you make two basic assumptions:

1. People -- men and women, young and old, loving and sadistic, maladjusted and normal, kinky and plain vanilla -- are all basically looking for the same thing: love and acceptance. They just go about it in different ways.

2. People are not nearly as evolved from animals as we would like to believe.


Response From Angel:

Thanks for your comment, I agree that everyone no matter who they are do want to be accepted and loved no matter how they are, or how they look like et. I guess it just simple, take me for who I am and not for what you want me to be. Sometimes people think that they can change their partner, but they are just leading themselves to a fantasy that will never pass if the partner is not willing to change, but in the end, if you met your partner the way they are now and that is who you fell in love with, then why try to change that person. We are who we are, take if or leave it.

Angel.


THE BRIAN FACTOR


Comment Submitted By Andy Re: The Brian Factor - 11/09/07:


Glad to have you back Brian!



Response From Brian:

Glad to be back! and Thxs for dinner!! you really helped me get my perspective back.




Comment Submitted By David Re: The Brian Factor - 11/09/07:


Kinda sounds like you had an epiphany, Congratulations.

So where do you see yourself going from here on out?



Response From Brian:


Actually I had my epiphany seven years ago, It was a life changing event and I'll always remember it like it was yesterday. Perhaps one day I'll tell the tale of that day but what I was dealing with was in essence a continuous series of events that overloaded me. I reached a breaking point and so finally I took a step back, cleared my head and I was ready to work again.

This upcoming break will allow me to fully comprehend a lot these experiences and let me really get back into the swing of things, So when we come back from break, I'll be at 100 % rather than the 80-90 range that I've been as of late. I think above all else the craziest thing was that this was the first time where my depression had no involvement. In fact Thursday will mark seven months to the day that my depression was alleviated.. it's something I'm really proud of and definitely something I hope to continue for seven more and beyond.

----------------------------------------------------------



As we close this week we want to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving and as always be safe, be true, be you... and remember, even if you eat three full plates of food, there's always room for pie!!

We'll be back on Dec. 3rd through the 7th and so from our family to yours, Happy Thanksgiving,

The Brian Factor

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November 14, 2007

Brian's Song - Empty Walls

The Brian Factor....Serj Tankian... You knew this would happen eventually.

The time is here. The time is now. Enough said.

So here you go kids, Serj Tankian for this week's Brian's Song: "Empty Walls"



Finally, the circle is complete..oh wait what's this.. super secret bonus video... WOW!!!:



I found this some time ago and think about this: Trent Reznor, Peter Murphy and TV on The Radio... A once in a lifetime performance of TV's song "Dreams". I love it.

Oh before I forget, "Empty Walls" is off of "Elect The Dead" and "Dreams" is off of "Desperate youth, Blood Thirsty Babes" Both are available online or check your local music stores.

And now "Brian's Song" goes on vacation til Dec. 5. See you guys later!!

Stay true, Stay you,

Until Next Time Kiddies,
-B

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November 11, 2007

Unhindered: Comedians

Let's lighten things up today and talk about a unique group of people who challenge the status quo, culture, biases, and hegemony.

Don't be scared off! I'm talking about comedians!

You've probably already noticed that stand-up comics have the unique role of making us think and laugh. The really good comedians don't stand up on stage and say "poop poop poop" to make us laugh- they point out discrepancies in our ways of thinking.



They bring up social issues that are usually too painful to think about. They don't use politically correct language to pussyfoot around feelings- they make us face our differences, realize that people can act similar according to gender, race, class, and make us laugh at ourselves. There are great tragedies in being human; comedians help us laugh to balance out our crying.

Pol Pot killed 1.7 million people. We can't even deal with that. I think we think that if somebody kills someone, that's murder, you go to prison. You kill 10 people, you go to Texas, they hit you with a brick, that's what they do. 20 people, you go to a hospital, they look through a small window at you forever. And over that we can't deal with it. You know? Someone who's killed a hundred thousand people, we're almost going... "Well done! Well done! You killed a hundred thousand people? You must get up very early in the morning! I can't even get down to the gym! Your diary must look odd: 'Get up in the morning, death, death, death, death, death, death, lunch. Death, death, death, afternoon tea. Death, death, death, quick shower.' -Eddie Izzard, Dress to Kill


Comedy is also a form of protest. We joke about politicians, celebrities, criminals; religion, comsumerism, welfare. All the good and funny comics are liberals mocking tradition and making us think about things we often ignore or take for granted. George Carlin pronounces that religion is the greatest bullshit story. Nick Swardson claims that old people will have no dignity when they listen to rap music. George Lopez talks about growing up in a Mexican-American family. Paula Poundstone finds amusement in her struggle with alcoholism.

So next time you watch a comedian, stand up and clap a little louder in thanks.

(I'm always adding comedy clips to this playlist: Stand Up)

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Soundboard - 11/10/07

Personal emergencies, technical difficulties, professional troubles... Thank God that shit is behind us. So from here on out, we are back to work... for another week.

Hey we got to take time off for Thanksgiving too, you know.

So since we're going to take the last two weeks of November off, I thought I'd tell you all about some upcoming events:

WOMEN'S MUD WRESTLING

CANADA AND THEIR WEED MARKET

THE S&M INDUSTRY

ARMS DEALINGS AROUND THE WORLD

CHEERLEADERS AND THE MOTHERS WHO WILL KILL FOR THEM

THE OIL INDUSTRY

ME LIVE AT THE ADULT VIDEO AWARDS IN LAS VEGAS AND STILL NOT GETTING ANY!!!

A SURPRISE MARRIAGE AND AN EVEN SURPRISING AFFAIR!!!


None of these things will happen after we get back from mini vacation #1

Too bad too, Cause I found some stuff for Marie..(whips, pom poms, etc.).. for research of course. Well on the plus side, now I don't have to shop for her this Christmas.

HA HA..Beat the rush!

Well I got a couple ideas for some great columns and I'm gonna work with the gang on what I'd call a "Mega Column" but more on that later.

So time to prepare for food comas and leftover sandwiches ... MMMMMM LEFT OVER SANDWICHES!!!

Anyway.. we're going out with a bang this week, Monday we have an all new "Marie: Unhindered" then Wednesday, an all new "Brian's Song" and of course finish it off with an all new "Echoes" on Friday.

So Until Monday,
-The B Team

.. I so need to come up with a better team name...

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November 08, 2007

Sexucation: Sex vs. Sleep

[Note from Brian: Temptress had major technical issues this week and wasn't able to send in her article until now, don't worry everything is fixed and we should finally be running as we should be. Hope you enjoy!!]

Sexucation: Sex vs. Sleep

Greetings, Lady Temptress at your service!

I've recently been hit with a dilemma; Sex vs. Sleep. SEX is well needed but SLEEP is very much needed. So what do you turn down? I recently had no choice but to, yes and I am very disappointed, I actually turned SEX down. I know... I know...it felt like the end of the world to me or well my va-jay-jay felt like it was the end of the world!

For the first time I felt like less of a sex kitten and more like an old woman. With this in mind, we have to think about should there be a schedule for sex? I have to say no, but with working so many hours sometimes a schedule sounds great. It also makes me feel like Stanford Wife! Which I'm so not.

Sleep is needed to keep a cool and refreshed mind and spirit. Lack of sleep can cause your sex drive to slow down and even just flat out eliminate the urge. Dam...I can't let that happen to me! Not to mention that sleep does help with your mood, communication, and dang sleep sounds a lot like sex! So is sleep the new sex?

Do people really have a sex schedule? I asked around and I found that most people don't and that small fraction of people who do. That fraction is older couples with small children (New Age Baby Boomers)! They advised me that with small kids you have no choice. One lady told me, that they could no longer have a closed bedroom door due her children. So she accommodates them and her husband. I then asked if this has caused any conflict with her husband, and I got a HUGE YES! She also added they are sleep deprived.

Their schedule is usually in the middle of the night or while the kids are watching a movie! She stated they are trying to me spontaneous with their sex life, but it¢s a slow process. Once their children are a little older the schedule will be the thing of the past.

So my question to you readers is: Should couples have a schedule for sex? Also when do you stop having sex? You may respond to my questions at ladytemptresstbf@yahoo.com

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TBF: 11/8/07

Hey there,

This week I'm finally back after some personal setbacks, I'd normally be giving a teaser opening to give you guys an idea of what to expect this week but it's a different week and it's a different vibe all around but I do have something I want to share...

Weak and Powerless
By: A Perfect Circle

Tilling my own grave to keep me level...
Jam another dragon down the hole...
Digging to the rhythm and the echo of a solitary siren...
one that pushes me along, and leaves me so...
desperate and ravenous...
I'm so Weak and powerless over you...

Someone feed the monkey while I dig in search of china...
White as Dracula as I approach the bottom...
so desperate and ravenous.
I'm so Weak and powerless over you...

Little angel, go away...
Come again some other day...
Devil has my ear today...
I'll never hear a word you say...
He Promised I would find a little solace and some peace of mind...
Whatever. Just as long as I don't feel so desperate and ravenous.

I'm so Weak and powerless over you...



For the last three weeks, I¢ve been running around trying to keep everything around me from going crazy, while naturally going a little crazy myself in the process. Before I continue I should apologize for my absence two weeks ago, My Mother had some health issues that couldn¢t be ignored and the result was surgery. So now I'm maintaining more of my world than I've ever had to. I admit that this scared the hell out of me, I mean, who wouldn¢t feel overwhelmed?

But my absence wasn¢t completely due to that series of events, I had known about her health and surgery plans for a long time, so it wasn¢t unexpected, I had spent the better part of two months preparing and by then I was actually ready for it. The weekend right before surgery, it finally hit me about what was really happening. It was there that for the first time since this whole situation started. That I was actually afraid. My fear didn't come from the possibility of death or anything extreme like that, what really hit me was that fact that it was officially time for me to step up my game.

When you spend most of your time preparing for something and finally act on said event, you find yourself forgetting everything you learned and the even harder lesson of nothing being exactly the way you learn it would be. I don't really have a title for this week so just call it what it is. A reflection.


What I found scarier was that doing what I had to actually change a lot of myself, I was still interested in writing and speaking out against topics and situations in the world today but I was actually put off by the CONCEPT of writing. As a result I suffered some pretty bad writers block and felt the most confused I've been in a while. So there I am: Working hard, alienating most of my friends cause I didn't have the time and I lost all interest in the things I love to do. I had effectively become my worse nightmare.

This pattern stayed with me for the better part of two weeks and was on its way to a third but thankfully I caught a break. An old friend had called me up and offered to grab dinner. I met up with him and we were just having casual conversation.

(Marie could vouch for me when I say casual conversation with me is some of the most random and often-funnier times we have.)

So we talked about cars, and he asked my thoughts on hybrids and it was there that I gave my trademark zing without trying. I said verbatim: "I fully support the use of alternate fuels and hybrids but I just don't want a fucking egg car. I'm a big guy and me in a Prius, I'd imagine circus music playing in the background, but then again I'm Mexican, we've been known to fit 30 in a Ford. "I knew I was on to something when I kept going "Listen if you made a hybrid that looks and runs like a '65 GTO, I'll tattoo "Green 4ever" on my ass!!!" I learned two things that night,

I was back to normal
Avoid using the phrase "on my ass!!!" aloud if you're two guys in a sports bar...
It was there that I realized what my main problem was. I was scared. I was afraid to screw up, I wanted to prove to everyone that I could handle everything that I ended up spreading myself too thin and eventually I just crashed. Then the one moment where I just shut my mind down and relax, everything comes back to me like I hadn't lost a beat.

For me I¢ve always found more perspective when I crash and burn than from the skies. I would get up, see where I screwed up, take a deep breath and start over.

The lesson I learned? You're going to have your moments where you'll be afraid, you're going to feel overwhelmed and reach a breaking point. So break. You'll shut down, start up again see what you did wrong and start over.

I know that doesn¢t sound like the answer you would want to hear, but for me, to fail is to learn and to try again. People usually want simple answers to simple questions, but that's not always the case. Various amounts of difficulties surround everything from asking such questions to answering them. What makes it worth it is actually willing to put yourself in a position to put your self out there or your willingness to look like an idiot when the times call for it. If you can get past your pride, you can learn quite a bit, and is that such a bad thing?

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TKO - 11/08/07

Do you remember the time:

Why is it that at the beginning of a relationship everything is so great? Both persons want to be around each other all the time; the man compliments his woman constantly, and may bring her flowers to woo her off her feet, take her out to dinner, movies et, then after a while or when the relationship gets serious all those things start to fade away.

I hear this from my friends, who are in serious relationships or married, and they all have experienced the ''freeze point" where their relationships have become at one point or another boring. (Yeah I said it, boring) I mean men think that just because they have a ring over a woman's finger that it means they no longer have to be attentive or cater to their woman, now this goes for woman too. (Sorry girls but you know it's true). We get so caught up in our every-day-to-day things that we really lose track of our partner.

I will be the first to admit, being a mother of three is not easy, and it is so easy to get caught up in the diaper-changing, burping, feeding, making sure that my daughter doesn't hit my baby in the head with a hammer, (well you get the picture) every day life, that I often fall short of taking time to spend with my husband; I mean I am a full time working mother and wife. I have so many responsibilities and not enough hours in the day to fulfill them, without something falling short. Luckily (or maybe not) my husband is too busy watching sports or taking about sport on the phone or playing sports on line to notice that we hardly spend time together.

But seriously both me and my husband realized that we were stuck in this every day routine and we were used to it. Now we have come to terms that we need to stay focus in our purpose, and know that our relationship comes first to everything else, we have even started going out more and taking the kids out a lot more, just knowing how to separate the difference between "family time" and "alone time". We have had a great summer and our marriage is only gotten better. So the moral of my point today is, when a relationship gets stale, throw it out like bread, no just kidding, talk about it with each other, and come to an agreement. Just remember compromise is key, for example if he wants to watch football on Sundays then join a church so that he has to go to church on Sundays, no, in all seriousness girls, if he watches sports on Sundays then compromise that Saturdays are for the both of you to go out, and fellas if your lady says I want to go to dinner and you take her, turn off you dam cell phone, I mean what is the point of going out to dinner if you phone is ringing off the hook with your lonely friends calling you to talk about sports. Soon enough you both will begin to enjoy being with each other all over again, if and only if you respect each others needs and wants.

Till next time.

Angel

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November 07, 2007

Brian's Song - Du Hast

Hope everyone had a great Halloween, I made out like a bandit, granted I attacked most of the children for their candy...but you see.. well... they don't need that much sugar in their system anyway.. But I should apologize to Marie for stealing her candy (and tackling her for it), in my defense I should note that she didn't need that much sugar in her system either, anyway... I'm Sorry..

To help with my apology I've brought out one of our favorites bands here at TBF to do what it does best. So get ready to
bang your head and avoid any boots to the face (trust me, I know what I'm talking about) and let's get ready to rock out bitches!

So here you go kids, Rammstein for this week's Brian's Song: "Du Hast"

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Yup that's right, I used a live performance instead of a music video this week, Marie and I are big Rammstein fans so I figured she'd get a kick out of it. Hopefully one day we can go see the real thing cause I've always heard that Rammstein always delivers a show. Just imagine it Marie, front row, rafters shaking, our hair getting burned from the pyro, WHOO!!!

Anyway.."Du Hast" is off of "Sehnsucht" available online or check your local music stores.




So while you guys were watching the "Rammstein Goodness" (as Marie calls it) we talked, we hugged, she punched me and stole the candy back and we made up. Ahh, life is good!... CRAP! NOW I HAVE A BLACK EYE!!!

Stay true, Stay you,

Until Next Time Kiddies,
-B

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November 02, 2007

Echoes of The Factor - 11/02/07

Comment Submitted by Curtis Re: "T.K.O- Trust":

The problem with being human is that we're all so damn fallible. We mess up all the time, we're imperfect and self-centered, and yet we find it hard to forgive those qualities in others. I doubt there are many people who intend to betray their spouses, just as few murderers plan it out ahead of time. Crimes of passion, indeed.

And then there's the issue of just what betrayal means to each individual. I remember reading about this study (and I'll spare you the statistics as I can't recall them off the top of my head), which addressed the differences in the reactions of men and women to various "betrayals" (my/your term). Basically, the gist of it was that men were much more concerned with their wives' sexual fidelity, while women were more offended by emotional infidelity -- a close non-sexual friendship between their husbands and another woman was more disturbing than their husbands cheating sexually.

When something as simple as that can be interpreted in two such divergent ways, it's amazing that human beings can get along as well as they can. Kudos to all who are willing to invest the effort to make their relationships work even after potholes and pitfalls -- as long as their partners are willing to do the same.

Response From Angel:

First of all thank you for your comment, I agree with your comment completely, I know we are not perfect and yes indeed we all make mistakes everyday for that matter.

But to me personally, an emotional betrayal or infidelity is I hate to say worse than a one night stand, reason being that it had feelings, it was a relationship, something that was taken in a way from me, because I have for so many years tried to be the best wife I can be, by not even allowing myself to be around guys and avoid guy friendships (when in high school I had a lot of guy friends) but I gave that up, because what is more important to me was establishing a "fool proof" marriage, by all means "fool proof" does not imply perfect, but at least I am not stupid to put my self in a position where things can and will happen if you allow yourself to go there, or open up a door for those situations to come in your life. but yeah, most of my friends agree that feelings matter most than physical infidelity (even though they both hurt as much), especially when it was with someone who they worked with and saw everyday, that is the hardest part to me, luckily my husband does not work there no more so it is easier for me to move on. In a way I hate to admit but what happend actually helped our relationship, as it had become somewhat of a almost boring "roommate" type of marriage, now we talk more and we are going out a lot more and he is focus on me, and our family a lot more than he has ever been since we had kids. So in a way I guess I can see it as a blessing in disguise, its just sad what had to happen for us to get closer. But I am relived that there was no physical thing or else knowing the kind of emotional person I am, I don't think I could have handled it enough to stay as it would change completely the way I see my husband, and it would have been really hard on me. I guess that is just a part of life, you live through it, you get stronger and wiser and you learn to move on. I am glad I did. Thanks for your comment, I appreciate it.




Comment Submitted by Marie Re: "Brian's Song - Butterfly Caught":

I haven't watched this video in a while. I forgot how creepy it is. (It was even more amusingly creepy because I watched Constantine earlier, and Robert Del Naja ended up looking somewhat like a demon. :)

Yay for trip-hop! Awesome music choice this week.

Response from Brian:

Thanks, when I wanted to start showing videos this season, that one really stood out as one I had to share with everyone.

I got plenty of ideas for this year but I'm still open to other people's suggestions.





Comment Submitted by Jacob Re: Unhindered: Living in a Litigious Society

Warning: the guy who dressed as an "apathetic college student" for Halloween is responding....

I absolutely agree with you. The degree to which our society is litigious is positively insane. Obese people should not be able to sue McDonalds for making them fat (seriously), burglars should not be able to sue when they are injured breaking into homes (really), and dermatologists should not be required to hang a sign indicating that skin care creme samples are not edible (not kidding -- happened to a doctor in my family).

Now I'm going to pessimistically up it a notch. My general view of humanity has fallen so far....
I think it's possible to generalize this behavior to a much higher degree and explain all matters of phenomena. Simply put, I believe people are generally uninterested in taking responsibility for their own actions. If given the chance, the average person will deflect and dodge instead of owning up.

Can't get a job? The Internet's fault for wasting your life. Can't get in a relationship? Porn is destroying our ability to love. Keep picking bad boyfriends? All men are pigs. Failed a midterm? The professor can't teach worth shit. Students aren't paying attention? Kids these days don't know the value of learning. Can't get a promotion? The boss has it out for you. Country's gone to war? It's all those damn Republicans. Teen pregnancies through the roof? It's our sex-crazed culture and those damn hippie liberals. Violence in school? Video games are to blame. Planes slamming into the World Trade Center? Terrorists hate our freedom.

What do they all have in common? It's easier to give a simplistic and logically vacuous answer than think about a complicated question. Maybe our history of US-Soviet foreign policy in Afghanistan has some impact. Maybe "exciting" and "bad boy" boyfriends are somehow correlated with ones who beat people up. Maybe a lack of outcry is a way of implicitly supporting a war. Maybe your bitter attitude and outdated teaching methods keep you from reaching your students. Maybe...

Maybe people suck.

But, like I said. I'm apathetic.

Response from Marie:

Hey, I "dressed up" as a vegetarian one year. Just wore my usual clothes. When I told a girl that I was in costume, and told her I was dressed as a vegetarian, she asked me, "Are you really a vegetarian?!" My reply: "Of course not! If I was, then I wouldn't be dressed up!"

I think it's more than giving "simplistic and logically vacuous" answers. People hate having to take responsibility for their mistakes. It's a natural thing. If you get VD, you're going to go around blaming and cussing at "that bitch who fuckin' raped you!" Not lament over the fact that you were a dumb-ass who got too wasted to have safe sex.

Anger is a much safer emotion than guilt, grief, regret, or sadness. Those feelings make us vulnerable. All of us still have some unconscious sense that we are immortal and untouchable until we are faced with the incomprehensible fact that we are wrong; "The test results came out positive. I'm sorry Mr. Brown, you have about six months to live," or "Amelia, your painkiller addiction is ruining our family. I'm filing for divorce and custody of the kids."

From our emotional standpoint, accusations and the shifting of blame are logical. But if we are supposed to have a healthy society, sometimes the head needs to rule over the heart. In the case of a large system like our American judicial one, facts are ideally supposed to be weighed, and emotional or illogical claims filtered out. If the system really worked, Americans wouldn't be spending so much money on lawyers and people like Judge Judy would be out of business.

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