TBF: Season Finale: Call to Arms

Previously on The Brian Factor....

"Welcome, This is The Brian Factor..."

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"Little children who've never even heard the concept of homosexuality are dying everyday, countries have famine, we are at war and people- both US and Iraqi- are fighting and dying, pollution, corruption, crime, unemployment, etc. and all we can focus on is two guys who want to get married to each other!!!! Truly, you guys need to get your priorities straight, not the people who love each other and want to get married.. "

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"I do this for everyone. I could want a million things in this world, but I'd gladly give them away if I could, to see a smile on someone's face when I know I brighten their day is to me a greater high that any drug. Many will disagree, many will say what I do is pointless... but fuck 'em."

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"Heores don't accept the world for the way it is, that's why we fight...... to change it for the better."

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"Do I believe we as a people can escape the never ending bullshit that the government has served upon us for the last few years... Yes. Do I expect it to occur overnight... No.

The main point I was attempting to spotlight was that people need to be reminded of what the point of our government was founded upon and that the government isn't made to control the people, it was made to serve the people, people are to be in charge of our world and our future, Yes the world and it's leadership are flawed, and yes the people have forgotten who's really in charge, but it's never too late to enlighten the world... it's just a lot of work.. a lot of work."

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"The world isn't perfect, in fact we're a good ways away from being near it, but that doesn't mean that it's impossible to change..."


"I've been planning new features and will be working with a friend to see where it goes...."

"In conjunction with a friend, "The Brian Factor" is going to another level, we're still working on it and details are still sketchy but I can safely say this... think GLOBAL."

"I've now made Marie my new Webmaster/ Editor..."

"Marie:"And so the college student became the Official (though Unpaid) Editor and Archiver for The Brian Factor"

"Hey ya'll, Marie here. I'm one of Brian's friends. I took it upon myself to create this Blogger version of "The Brian Factor""

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"People always dig the songs I put up each week and I came up with a idea. Starting on Wed. we're unveiling a new addition to TBF site, I call it...."Brian's Song"

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"So tonight I'm handing the reins of Brian's Song to longtime friend of The Brian Factor and fellow writer Harlean Carpenter."

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"Something in our heads demands us to be perfect. Well maybe I'm a freak because I don't have that voice, instead I have a voice that says: "Don't ever hold back, and it will be OK." "

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"I know what I am and I embrace every aspect of it, I'm one, Harlean's one, Marie, my brothers. We're all mavericks."

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"Guns are tools, indiscriminate tools used to pierce whatever is in front of them. In all the great debating of who's right and who's wrong, no one seems to remember the human element in all this. Guns are dangerous but people are more dangerous than any weapon we can create."

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"I HEARBY ISSUSE AN OPEN CHALLENGE.. OF SORTS.

I AM BASICALLY SAYING I WANT YOU TO WRITE FOR THE BRIAN FACTOR."

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Jacob "Cerebral Cortex" and Harlean Carpenter in "He Said/ She Said"

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"Congratulations to Harlean & Jacob on an exceptional TBF this week. Not only did they do a great job, they gave us the highest ratings of the season!!"

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"SEASON FINALE... HERE WE COME!!!"

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...And now, The season finale of The Brian Factor....

Sleeping Awake
By: P.O.D.

Reveal to me the mysteries
Can you tell me what it means?
Explain these motions and metaphors
Unlock these secrets in me

Describe your vision, the meaning is missing
Won't anybody listen?
Define the riddles of my mind
Nothing is strictly what it seems

Dreaming of Zion, Awake
Sleeping Awake
Dreaming of Zion, Awake
Can't stop Sleeping Awake

Do you see what I see?
And can you hear what I hear?
Do you feel what I feel?
Can't stop Sleeping Awake

Do you see what I see?
And can you hear what I hear?
Do you feel like I feel?
Can't stop Sleeping...

Can you see it? The writing,
Can you tell me what it means?
Translate the symbols, Enigma
Expressions keep questioning me

The message is written, the meaning is missing
Won't anybody Listen?
Prophecy, interpretate the signs
Nothing is really what it seems

Dreaming of Zion, Awake
Sleeping Awake
Dreaming of Zion, Awake
Can't stop Sleeping Awake

Do you see what I see?
And can you hear what I hear?
Do you feel what I feel?
Can't stop Sleeping Awake

Do you see what I see?
And can you hear what I hear?
Do you feel like I feel?
Can't stop Sleeping Awake

Do you see what I see?
Can you hear what I hear?
And do you see what I see?
And can you hear what I hear?
And do you feel like I feel?
And can you dream like I dream?

Do you see what I see?
Can you hear what I hear?
Do you feel like I feel?
Do you dream like I dream?

Anybody see me?
Anybody hear me?
Anybody feel me?
Anybody out there!

Dreaming of Zion, Awake
Sleeping Awake
Dreaming of Zion, Awake
Can't stop Sleeping Awake

Do you see what I see?
And can you hear what I hear?
Do you feel what I feel?
Can't stop Sleeping Awake

Do you see what I see?
And can you hear what I hear?
Do you feel like I feel?
Can't stop Sleeping Awake

Anybody see me?
Anybody hear me?
Anybody feel me?
Anybody out there!


Evolution
By: Korn

I'm digging with my fingertips,
I'm gripping at the ground I stand upon.
I'm searching for fragile bones.
(Evolution)

I'm never gonna be refined;
keep trying but I won't assimilate.
Sure, we have come far in time...
(Watch the bough break)

And I'm sorry I don't believe,
by the evidence that I see,
that there's any hope left for me...
It's evolution!
Just evolution!

And I, I do not dare deny
the basic beast inside;
it's right here,
it's controlling my mind!
And why do I deserve to die?
I'm dominated by
this animal that's locked up inside!

Close up to get a real good view,
I'm betting that the species will survive.
Hold tight, I'm getting inside you...
(Evolution)

And when we're gonna find these bones,
they're gonna want to keep them in a jar.
The number one virus,
caused by procreation.

And the planet may go astray;
in a million years they'll say:
"Those mother fuckers were all deranged!"
It's evolution!
Just evolution!

And I, I do not dare deny
the basic beast inside;
it's right here,
it's controlling my mind!
And why do I deserve to die?
I'm dominated by
this animal that's locked up inside!

Take a look around...
Take a look around...
Nothing much has changed.

Take a look around...
Take a look around...
Nothing much has changed.

Take a look around!
Take a look around!
Nothing much has changed!

Take a look around!

And I, I do not dare deny
the basic beast inside;
it's right here,
it's controlling my mind!
And why do I deserve to die?
I'm dominated by
this animal that's locked up inside

Why?
Why do I deserve to die?
Why?

---

The winds of change are always blowing.

They'll take us to places we don't want to be, as well as places we could never foresee. As I put together that little montage of memories above, I realized that I've never really looked back to when I started this. And that tells me something... I don't have to.

Anything and everything we do, we'll find moments that we would gladly love to remember or to forget. But I've noticed those other moments where you do neither. In this whole journey, I've spoken from my heart and given myself to my voice, here.

A person has unlimited potential in regards to what they can accomplish. All that is necessary to tap into that potential is motivation. In this world there is motivation for everything, whether off across the globe or even here in front of you.

The goal of The Brian Factor is not to project one understanding; it is really to promote all understanding. Everyone has fear, anger, hate, joy, love, dreams. But we often times hide them away, fearing that we either can't live up to those feelings or that people wouldn't understand them, thus creating insecurity. I grew up learning that we can't be afraid and that we can't deny who we are inside. Inside us all is a voice and that voice only needs one thing: opportunity.

Only a few know this aspect about me but I'm gonna share it with all of you: I've never admitted when I needed help.

Thanks to certain experiences, I've learned to only really ever rely on myself. It's not a trait I'm particularly fond of, but I can't deny that it's what helped keep me going especially in my darkest times. The reason I'm telling you this is because I'm working on me, one piece at a time.

So with being said, I'm admitting now that I can't do this alone. Not anymore.

I am a man of this world, but I am not worldly.

There is so much beauty here.. and much more that is hidden away. After reading the "Feminism" articles I finally saw what I've been looking for when I started this: Hope, Fire, Desire, Truth.

Or, in one simple word: People

For us to move forward we have to do two things: Talk and Listen. By now you'd say how then no real progress could happen since no one can agree to a vision other than their own. And you're right- everyone has a dream and everyone has an idea. But have you ever noticed how most ideas always had a beneficiary? What I mean is that people care about what goes on in this world but many don't want to be involved unless it benefits them. Now you're probably gonna say: "That's not true, that's not me! You don't know me!" and etc. and you are right, I do not know you. So then who was I referring to then?

Simple. The people who are doing something now. I mean let's face facts: in politics it's a damn pre-requisite; in business it's a can't-fail, solid push; and in the world... it more or less makes everything go round.

To be selfless, you fight to do the right thing, period. It is not to fight and do the right thing and expect something/everything in return.

I refuse to be that person and I aim to do the right thing: to show hope in this world from this world. To remind people that the world isn't perfect and it never will be, but that it could be better. But it ain't going to get better with a wave of a hand or a wish in the blink of an eye. No, to get better we have to work, we have to work together, and we have to go against what those who set the wrong examples live by.

So I said that all a person needs for their voice to be heard is an Opportunity. Well, I'm giving you a chance. I have decided that I do need help, I need people to speak up more, and I need to hear what you have to say. So starting right now, June 29, 2007, I'm looking around for more writers and more voices to add to TBF.

In words that I know Marie could appreciate: "I AIM TO MISBEHAVE."

So who wants to join me?

Brian's Song: Baba O'Riley

So here we are... Season Finale time!

Man the time flies.

Could've sworn I just started the season last week. But what can you say?

So now I only wonder: "What the hell's gonna happen during the summer?" Well don't worry, we're in the middle of coming up with some kind of summer schedule to keep everyone entertained...

Hey Marie... Could we post up mud wrestling videos??

[Marie: Ahhh... no.]

Aww.. Crap!

Anyway, honestly though, I feel really good this week. I've got my job, my health, my friends.. it's all aces baby!

All in all life is great!

So I wanted to find a great song to help describe my feeling but I'm also in an old school mood. So who do I go to when I want Old School sounds with great vibes? The Who.

So for this week I'm spotlighting "Baba O'Riley" by The Who as this week's Brian's Song.

"Baba O'Riley"
By: The Who

Out here in the fields
I fight for my meals
I get my back into my living
I don't need to fight
To prove I'm right
I don't need to be forgiven

Don't cry
Don't raise your eye
It's only teenage wasteland

Sally, take my hand
Travel south cross land
Put out the fire
And don't look past my shoulder
The exodus is here
The happy ones are near
Let's get together
Before we get much older

Teenage wasteland
It's only teenage wasteland
Teenage wasteland
Oh, yeah
Teenage wasteland
They're all wasted!


Like what you read, want to know more? Then click the link and learn about The Who: http://www.thewhotour.com/.



"Baba O'Riley" is the off of... well any "Greatest Hits" album. But if you're one for absolute historical accuracy, then go buy "Who's Next". Both are easily available at music stores everywhere.

Got an idea for a future "Brian's Song", then hit us up and let us know, there's nothing fun and more truer than just sharing some kick ass tunes with the world.

SEASON FINALE... HERE WE COME!!!

Until Next Time,


-Brian

Echoes: Feminism

Echoes of the Factor - 06/22/07

Responses posted on 06/22/07

Comment Submitted by Brian Re: "TBF: Feminism":

I feel like I made my own version of Grindhouse..

I laughed, I cried, I wanted to take a pee break but I couldn't.... Perfect!!!

I loved how this turned out, especially since I got to make a two-parter TBF, and honestly, I've been really wanting to do something like this since the TBF site came online..

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Author's Correction: Submitted by Jacob Re: "TBF: Feminism (Part 1)":

The book I reference, "Are Men Really Necessary?," is actually titled, "Are Men Necessary?" Apologies on any confusion this may have caused.

Response From Brian: I didn't notice... Had you not said anything, I don't think anybody would've either...

[Marie: Soon as I read that, Jacob, I altered the title in TBF blog version of your article.]
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Comment Submitted by Jacob Re: "TBF: Feminism (Part 2)":

Er, just a bit of a typo, I think. I assume when you write, "After all, isn't that when we most loudly heard the voice of Gloria Steinem and her ilk proclaiming those of us not in possession of a penis to be considered second-class citizens?," that you actually mean, "After all, isn't that when we most loudly heard the voice of Gloria Steinem and her ilk proclaiming those of us not in possession of a penis not to be considered second-class citizens?" (or some similar inverted phrasing), correct?

Also, one amusing note: Hugh Hefner, Larry Flynt, et al. -- while being decried by some feminists (and embraced by others) -- are more liberal than even most of the liberal politicians. In fact, both of them (I believe; I'm dead certain about Hef, at least), are major supporters of "pro choice" and other women's organizations, and have wielded some large amounts of their considerable assets towards helping them out. It's unlikely that you'll ever see, "Sponsored by Hustler Magazine!" on the front page of Planned Parenthood, but it is an amusing anecdote to make a personal mental note of who one of the biggest men behind the curtain is (no pun about Flynt intended).

Also, nice essay. Interesting history, some good points, and clever narrative. God job, wot wot, and not really in opposition to my own, no matter how Brian would like to cast it that way. ;)

Response from Harlean:

Good observation, and I can see how the "second-class citizen" line could be interpreted as having contained a typo, but in fact I did mean it exactly the way it was written. That was a big part of the reason why the Feminist Movement of the 70's got as loud and ugly as it did, the fact that women were suddenly being told that the world thought of them as second-class citizens, and they should be grateful to NOW for bringing this to their attention because God knows all of that decent happy living they were doing, and focusing on the good of their families and not having to haul their asses out of bed to catch the morning train to a job that probably wasn't half as rewarding as hearing a child say "Mommy look what I made for you in school today!" could be, well, all of that had done terribly misleading things to the minds of so many women who up until that point had probably been thinking they were living pretty good lives. So the Steinems and Freidans of the world were kind enough to let them know that their lives did, in fact, totally suck because they weren't as good as any man in the eyes of the people who really mattered, those people being, um, well, complete strangers for the most part, but you know, those people's opinions matter FAR more than the opinions of the people who live with and love you, don't they?!

And yes, I agree with your take on the whole He Said She Said thing, since you and I are basically presenting two angles of the same story, that story being that the "feminists" of today are sadly lacking in both definition and direction.

And now I will sign off before I end up writing another 3000 words... ;)

Response From Brian: DAMN! I'm glad we came up with this idea. Marie and I are fuckin geniuses. Say it with me Marie: Woo!!
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Marie's thus far unofficial addition to this week's "Echoes" (because she was too busy/lazy to write anything this past week):

Since quotes are all the rage on this topic, I shall begin with one myself: "Enough ink has been spilled in the quarreling over feminism, now practically over, and perhaps we should say no more about it." -Simone de Beauvoir, Introduction, The Second Sex.

Perhaps enough has been said about feminism. The vast majority of the American population seems to have tired of this topic, save for Feminist Studies majors and Jacob and Harlean and Brian. In my mind, the particular cause of feminism and its historic denotations should be left behind. I'm not narrow-minded enough to think that the (arguably) inferior treatment of females is the be-all and end-all or even most important aspect in humankinds' struggle for equality. Sure, I feel that the institutionalized partiarchy of American society is keeping women down as a group, but so many women have benefitted from this and previous generations' battle for equal treatment of women. The glass ceiling has been shattered- in word if not in deed- and only time and education (and maybe a governmental shift back to secular liberalism) will let us fulfill our hard-won place alongside men.

The label of feminism should be retired. Not because there is universal gender equality nor because females are inherently inferior, but because every single human that exists suffers from exclusion and inequal treatment. Equality shouldn't be the sole fight of one faction; it should be a concerted movement of everyone. Women, men, the poor, the ill, the weak, etc. all share the goal of being heard and being respected. Why compartmentalize oppression? Do the Romani have a monopoly of suffering? The Jews? The deaf?

The oppressors that these groups rebel against have also suffered inequality. Perhaps not as blatant or prolonged mistreatment, but I'm willing to say that every individual with an active role in propagating discrimination against one or more of his fellow human beings has experienced a lack of power. If not because of ethnicity or beliefs, than simply because he or she was once a child. Every large political, religious, or other kind of system that I have heard of considers children as inferior and treats them as such. (This may be confusing things, but, philosophically, I agree that children are inferior to older individuals simply because they don't have comparable knowledge, experience, and reason. Those lacks of qualities shouldn't justify treating them as pets or annoyances or objects instead of the young people they are.) Thus, if changes are to be made concerning the treatment/mistreatment of a particular sect of people, changes will have to be made concerning pretty much every other aspect in human societies.

Everyone should unite in the fight for general equality. Call it "universal human rights" or "anthroism" or whatever, but factions like the feminists and gay rights activists and ethnic minorities should work together against every type of oppression together. Realistically, oppression may be impossible to abolish. Though I may be a dreamer I am far from being the only one (to paraphrase a poet-activist for equality), and dreamers are what began the successful civil rights movements throughout history.

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Comment/ Question Submitted by Jacob Re: "Soundboard: Heading into the home stretch":

Brian: "Congratulations to Harlean & Jacob on an exceptional TBF this week. Not only did they do a great job, they gave us the highest ratings of the season!!"

Jacob: No problemo. But ratings where?

Response from Brian: I'll have Marie explain it all to you later... Mainly cause I don't know either.

[Marie: TBF blog has a stat counter. I think that's what Brian was referring to.]


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Comment Submitted by Jacob Re: Harlean's Song: "Ode de Toilet":

Oh heavenly flying spaghetti monster, not country music!? That's just too far!

But seriously, this reminds me of a recent post I did on the ideal treatment of toilet seats based on game theory models to maximize equality. (Summary for people who might be scared away by equations and logic: the mathematically ideal situation exists when men lower the seat half the time (say, they don't lower it in the morning but they do at night).) It's
actually interesting reading, and very tongue-in-cheek, given the subject matter, doncha know.

Response from Brian: Okay, on the first part, let me just say this: Preach on!!! Did you read what Marie added on?:

[Marie: Awesome choice, HC! *smirk* I'm happy to have help opening these guys' minds to new genres. Variety is the spice of life, they say, and Brian's getting pretty bland. Brian! Don't take the CD player into the shower! *sigh* He needs a keeper sometimes.]

Brian: Okay, that hurt..

No, seriously, all bullshit aside.. That wasn't cool.

You want to make fun of me? I'm cool with that. Believe me, I've heard and felt alot worse from people over the years. So all this.. the jokes, the jabs, it's all fine with me.

But seriously don't ever...EVER!! insult my choices in music. And don't assume that everything I've shared is simply everything to me, cause if you think all this is all I am...

THEN YOU DON'T EVEN REALLY KNOW ME AT ALL...

Now I am sorry that I unloaded like that.

[Marie: Jeezy Creezy. I never expected a response such as that. And since text doesn't convey sarcasm well, I can hardly discern how much of your indignation is real. Seriously, though, have I ever criticized your song choices? I've only made snarky remarks about the homogeneity of genres: metal with the occassional electronic song and possibly some classic rock. I have much respect for those types of music- after all, I've got Rage, Rammstein, Massive Attack, Ozzy, Guns N' Roses, Disturbed, SoaD, Butthole Surfers, and Eminem on my iPod as well as classical, opera, country, folk, and Arabic pop (reminder: I am a music lover, not a terrorist). I am also pretentious and love to brag about the esoteric bands, artists, and songs I've run across. And I'm not so shallow or musically-fixated as to like and respect individuals solely for their taste in music; obviously, music plays a much more important role in your life than mine. So I'm not going to lecture any more about it.]

Next week: The Season Finale

Harlean's Song: Ode de Toilet

Bri... oh I mean Harlean's Song - 06/20/07

Some might think that Brian's cage has been sufficiently rattled lately by the whole Feminism Factor Fiasco. (ah, alliteration, always an amusing addition...) But I propose to rattle it even further, shake the poor boy from the very foundation on which he stands, by introducing to his blog a genre almost guaranteed to make his hair stand on end. Yes, I'm going there. I'm doing that. I'm talking about... COUNTRY MUSIC!

[Brian: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!]

To me, the beauty of country music is that is celebrates every aspect of the human condition. It's not all about getting drunk and your woman leaving and the train being late and your dog running away. Yes, those things are sung about, but they're only a very small part of the glorious world of country music. Falling in love, staying in love, having babies, watching your babies get married, watching your grandbabies get married, losing your job, being happy about losing your job, realizing the person you thought you loved as a teenager is really a complete jerk, the day to day and the once in a lifetime and everything in between are what country music is all about. It is also, at times, funnier than hell.

[Brian: NOOO!!! IT'S EVIL!!! EVIL I SAY!!!!!!!]

As an example, and also in keeping with the theme of feminism and what women really want, I submit to you "Ode de Toilet" by Brad Paisley

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"Ode de Toilet"
By Brad Paisley

She says not to buy her flowers
Or big expensive gifts
She says she don't want jewelry
And she doesn't need another dress
If I want to show her how much I adore her
The best way that I've found
Is to make sure when I'm finished
I put that toilet seat down

We've been to counseling
To try and see the ways we could improve
This thing between us
And different ways to show each other "I love you"
Forget about those getaway vacations
To romantic coastal towns
If you want to say "I love you"
Then put that toilet seat down

'Cause in the middle of the night
It's cold and it's dark
And when I hear my name in vain
I know I haven't done my part
She just wants me to support her
And the best way that I've found
So with a gentle hand and a loving touch
I put that toilet seat down

I know it's kind of funny
You can teach a little puppy
But it's very hard to train a grown man
When I'm all about my business
And the path of least resistance
She's the one that suffers in the end

In the middle of the night
It's cold and it's dark
And when I hear my name in vain
I know I haven't done my part
She just wants me to support her
And the best way that I've found
So with a gentle hand and a loving touch
I put that toilet seat down
Down, down


Like what you read, want to know more? Then click the link and learn about Brad Paisley: http://www.bradpaisley.com/


"Ode de Toilet" is the off of "Time Well Wasted" (Bonus Cuts CD) available at Target or Amazon.

Got an idea for a future "Brian's Song", then hit us up and let us know, there's nothing fun and more truer than just sharing some kick ass tunes with the world.

Until Next Time,

-Harlean

[Brian: God I feel dirty... UNCLEAN!!! Marie hold my calls and grab me a Killswitch Engage CD, I'll be in the shower crying... OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE!!!!!!]

[Marie: Awesome choice, HC! *smirk* I'm happy to have help opening these guys' minds to new genres. Variety is the spice of life, they say, and Brian's getting pretty bland. Brian! Don't take the CD player into the shower! *sigh* He needs a keeper sometimes.]

Soundboard: "Heading into the home stretch"

"Heading into the home stretch"

Congratulations to Harlean & Jacob on an exceptional TBF this week. Not only did they do a great job, they gave us the highest ratings of the season!!

Say it with me Marie: Wooo!
[Marie: Wooo!!]

After next week's Echoes, it's time for the Season Finale.

So how do I prepare for TBF: Season Finale? Simple...

Sit around and play guitar.. That's what!

Say it with me Marie: Wooo!!
[Marie: Woo- wait, what? Can you even play the guitar?]

Life is good, ratings are good, hell if we were getting paid to do this, I'd give Marie a raise. But luckily we're not so I don't have to.

Say it with me Marie: Wooo!!!
[Marie: Nooo!!! (But, seriously, HC and Jacob, thanks and awesome job.)]

Season Finale... here we come!!

TBF: Feminism (Part 2)

...04/12/07

[Taken from Echoes: Gun Politics:

"I HEARBY ISSUSE AN OPEN CHALLENGE.. OF SORTS.

I'M LOOKING FOR A WOMAN, ANY WOMAN WHO CAN WRITE ABOUT FEMINISM AND REALLY GIVE IT THE JUSTICE IT NEEDS.

THIS IS OPEN TO ANYONE (EVEN YOU MARIE) ALL I ASK IS THAT YOU GIVE IT YOUR BEST. I AM BASICALLY SAYING I WANT YOU TO WRITE FOR THE BRIAN FACTOR. THE POSTING DATE DEADLINE I AM AIMING FOR IS JUNE 15TH."]

...June 11th, 2007

A few names both new and familiar to TBF showed interest, but in the end there are simply two...

...June 13, 2007

Two choices.. Two voices.. Two ideas.. Two beliefs..

So who do I choose?

Both are strong, even, well researched and offer great visions of Feminism.

Also just to add more fuel to this fire.. One voice belongs to a woman and the other.. a man.

So before me are representatives for both genders... That's a tricky one.

Originally I had envisioned a woman, but a pure voice that speaks nothing but truth has no real identity except for truth. it isn't about Men vs. Women it is simply the truth.. nothing more.

Yet I couldn't pick one, so this week keeping in tradition of the controversy we so love to give here at TBF, we are hereby proud to present:

Jacob "Cerebral Cortex"

and

Harlean Carpenter

IN

"He Said/ She Said"

As they team up to tackle this week on The Brian Factor: Feminism

SHE SAID:

Women's Liberation, Feminism, the Women's Movement; words that to many minds are associated with the 1970's. After all, isn't that when we most loudly heard the voice of Gloria Steinem and her ilk proclaiming those of us not in possession of a penis to be considered second-class citizens? Isn't that when women were first truly madly deeply angry about the lives they were leading and the restrictions being placed upon them simply because of their sex and, with the aid of the then recently formed National Organization for Women, decided to speak up about it? An understandable association, but the true beginning of what would become the Women's Movement dates back slightly further than that.

"As an organized force, feminism dates from abolitionism in the early 1830s. Abolitionism was the radical anti-slavery movement which demanded the immediate cessation of slavery on the grounds that every man was a self-owner; that is, every human being has moral jurisdiction over his or her own body." -Wendy McElroy, "The Roots of Individualist Feminism"

Women back then were every bit as intelligent as women today, even if they didn't have the same level of education or the same freedom of opportunity to express their intelligence that vagina-bearing persons now enjoy. But these women were smart enough to put two and two together and realize that they too fell into the category of "human beings."

"We have good cause to be grateful to the slave, for the benefit we have received to ourselves, in working for him. In striving to strike his irons off, we found most surely that we were manacled ourselves." -Abbie Kelley

The newly founded feminist movement ran into a rather substantial roadblock when male abolitionists insisted that the rights of slaves and the rights of women be maintained as two separate issues. The women argued that they were close enough to one and the same that they could be argued concurrently and identically; it was a human issue, not an issue of color or sex. The men, even the men who were in support of women's rights, argued that one issue should not be allowed to dilute the impact of the other, and that by arguing both at the same time, the chances were increased that both would be lost.

To make a long story slightly shorter, the Fifteenth Amendment was ratified on February 3, 1870 and secured that "the right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of race, color, or previous condition of servitude" with no reference made to sex anywhere to be found. And then, the Women's Movement got a little ugly.

Desperate times called for desperate measures, and a number of the more radical feminists of the day turned their backs on the very thing they had fought so hard for so many years to secure, the rights of slaves, in favor of securing these same rights for themselves. And in the midst of the heat of the battle for women's rights, a rift was created in the feminist movement. On one side was The National Woman Suffrage Association, a group not above aligning themselves
with what Susan B. Anthony referred to as "rabid pro-slavery Democrats" as long as they were willing to support the cause both politically and financially. On the other side was The American Woman Suffrage Association, who didn't make such public political alliances but was not above using arguments along the lines of:

"If you are to share the future government of your states with a race you deem naturally and hopelessly inferior, avert the social chaos, which seems to you so imminent, by utilizing the intelligence and patriotism of the wives and daughters of the South." -Henry Blackwell

These two groups maintained their separate but similar identities for 20 years before merging to become The National American Woman's Suffrage Association, which would become The League of Women Voters after the Nineteenth Amendment was ratified on August 18, 1920. For those of you not familiar with the Nineteenth Amendment, it reads as follows: "The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of sex."

This, to me, was the crowning achievement of the Women's Movement. Decades before anyone reading this was likely even born, we won our battle. We secured for ourselves the most powerful weapon anyone could ever hope to have in their equality arsenal. We won the vote.

Next up on the Women's Movement agenda was the Equal Rights Amendment, drafted in 1923. It read quite simply; "Equality of rights under the law shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of sex." A valid proposal considering the climate of the time that it was drafted, when a woman could not own property, keep any money she might inherit from her family, have any legal say in what went on with her children, and was basically completely at the mercy of first her father and later her husband.

Between 1923 and 1970, not much happened with the ERA. It was far from forgotten, but it was never ratified. I could be wrong, but I suspect its very simplicity might have had something to do with that. It didn't spell out exactly what its proponents were looking for. Had it been a bit more specific, something along the lines of "rights under the law with regard to ownership of money and/or property and dominion over one's offspring" it might have gotten further than it did.

But instead of the ratification of the ERA, we got WWII. Society suddenly had no choice but to let women work outside of the home because work needed to be done and there weren't enough men around to do it. Women had to have control over the finances of their families because men weren't around to deal with them. No Constitutional Amendment was involved; necessity became, as she is wont to do, the mother of invention, the invention being the more active role of women in the workplace and the world of finance.

Similar to the abolitionist feminists of the previous century, who started out fighting for one thing and continued to win another, the women of the 1940's started out fighting for nothing more than the support of their country and the preservation of their lifestyle in the absence of their men, and ended up, however inadvertently, winning another battle entirely. The practical, hands-on efforts of these women did more in the battle for equality than a thousand ratifications of the ERA ever could have. They were forced into proving that they were capable of handling anything a man could handle, and they proved it admirably.

So, at this point in our story, we have the vote, we have the right to money and property, we have legal rights with regard to our children, and we have, to a large degree, society's acceptance of our working outside of the home. All of that without the ratification of the ERA.

When the National Organization for Women was founded in 1966, the ERA found its voice again, louder than ever before, and in 1970, NOW began its campaign to do whatever whenever wherever to RATIFY THE ERA! To this day, it has yet to happen. But they're still trying.

Why have they yet to succeed?

By the time NOW got hold of the ERA, we had everything that I mentioned in the above "at this point in our story" paragraph. All of this was true prior to 1970 and is still true today. So what exactly is it that would satisfy NOW with regard to women being considered "equal" in the eyes of the law? Yes, the LAW. There will always be men who don't like women and don't want to work with them. Guess what? That's not against the law. And contrary to what so much feminist literature would have you believe, there really were men who were willing to give women good jobs back in the 70's, if the women were qualified to do those jobs, willing to work hard at doing them well, AND didn't expect any preferential treatment simply because they were women. There will always be men who want their wives to stay home and have children and do laundry and bake cookies. That, oddly enough, is not against the law either. On the flip side, there will always be women who don't want to work with men, or who frankly don't want to work at ALL outside of the home, and I'm pretty fed up with hearing that they're intentionally casting themselves in the role of a "second-class citizen" and should immediately be taken out and shot. This country is about choice. And when I say "choice" I do NOT mean the popular definition of "the right to safe and legal abortion." I mean choice in every aspect of our lives. If I demand that, I must expect to give it in return. That means accepting the fact that there might be people in the world who don't like me just because I'm a woman, might not want to give me a job because I'm a woman, might not what to let me into their super secret guys only clubs because I'm a woman, and that's THEIR choice. It's also their loss, but that's not my problem.

Maybe, in addition to the somewhat damning simplicity of its verbiage, another reason that the ERA has never been ratified has a little something to do with the FIRST Amendment, which makes mention of more than just freedom of speech. It's also about freedom of assembly, which more than one Constitutional scholar has interpreted to include freedom of association, which basically means, you can't make a law saying that you have to like somebody. And if you don't like them, you don't have to associate with them. Oddly enough, it's the same set of rules that gives NOW the right to keep people like Hugh Hefner and Larry Flynt from sitting on their board, but NOW doesn't want to talk about that.

(Oh, and in their time off from trying to ratify the ERA, they're supporting Affirmative Action. Am I the only one who has to pause a moment to ponder that one? You're demanding "equality"? in the eyes of the law in the same breath that you ask for benefits based on sex and race? Um, ok)

I make a lot more money than a lot of men I know. I make a lot less money than a lot of women I know. I get to keep my money. I get to vote. All of this would have been true even if I had been born 30 years earlier than I was. To quote Mark Twain, "The world owes you nothing; it was here first." Nobody owes me anything that I'm not willing to prove that I deserve. And I may very well have to earn the opportunity just to prove that I deserve it. Guess what? MEN have to prove that, too. The possession of a penis is not the guarantee of an easy life. Men have to go on job interviews and prove themselves and be nice to people they may not like and all the rest of it. That is not strictly the Female Condition. My ancestors knew that. My Great-Aunt Elizabeth marched up and down the East Coast in the early 1900's to win the vote. She had a war to fight, she fought it and she succeeded. My Great-Aunt Mary Ethel was one of the first female sports reporters in the country back in the 1950's. She knew what it meant to fight for a job that you loved, work hard at it and not give a damn what anyone thought of you, and she succeeded. My mother found herself suddenly and unexpectedly cast in the role of primary breadwinner when my father was diagnosed with cancer back in 1978. Years ago, she related one particularly memorable job interview to me. At this interview, she told her potential employer that she had been a housewife up until that point. The interviewer asked her, in all seriousness, to explain exactly what being a housewife entailed. She did so, and at the end of the interview, this man said to her, again in all seriousness, that she was OVERQUALIFIED, that anyone who could juggle schedules and balance a budget and oversee so many people and run an operation like she had been running would do far better to find a job that would challenge her more and make better use of the skills she had acquired. She took his advice, looked for a better job, and got it.

These, and countless other women like them, are to me the true role models of what the feminist movement was supposed to be about. It wasn't ever supposed to be about anyone handing us anything simply because we're women. It was about getting out there and proving yourself, holding your ground, disregarding your sex and anyone who paid attention to it, and just doing what you needed to do.

(Oh, and after decades of disparaging the institution of marriage, likening it to death and swearing she would never have anything to do with it because it was so demeaning to women, guess what Gloria Steinem did on September 3, 2000? I guess after all those decades of making all that noise, even she was finally forced to admit that the world of women really has changed for the better..)

[Brian: Thank you and Great Job Harlean]

TBF: Feminism (Part 1)

...04/12/07

[Taken from Echoes: Gun Politics:

"I HEARBY ISSUSE AN OPEN CHALLENGE.. OF SORTS.

I'M LOOKING FOR A WOMAN, ANY WOMAN WHO CAN WRITE ABOUT FEMINISM AND REALLY GIVE IT THE JUSTICE IT NEEDS.

THIS IS OPEN TO ANYONE (EVEN YOU MARIE) ALL I ASK IS THAT YOU GIVE IT YOUR BEST. I AM BASICALLY SAYING I WANT YOU TO WRITE FOR THE BRIAN FACTOR. THE POSTING DATE DEADLINE I AM AIMING FOR IS JUNE 15TH."]


...June 11th, 2007

A few names both new and familiar to TBF showed interest, but in the end there are simply two...


...June 13, 2007

Two choices.. Two voices.. Two ideas.. Two beliefs..

So who do I choose?

Both are strong, even, well researched and offer great visions of Feminism.

Also just to add more fuel to this fire.. One voice belongs to a woman and the other.. a man.

So before me are representatives for both genders... That's a tricky one.

Originally I had envisioned a woman, but a pure voice that speaks nothing but truth has no real identity except for truth. it isn't about Men vs. Women it is simply the truth.. nothing more.

Yet I couldn't pick one, so this week keeping in tradition of the controversy we so love to give here at TBF, we are hereby proud to present:

Jacob "Cerebral Cortex"

and

Harlean Carpenter

IN

"He Said/ She Said"

As they team up to tackle this week on The Brian Factor: Feminism


HE SAID:

Let me start by saying that I'm not a misogynist. I love women, and I support women's equality. Let me also say that I wasn't going to write anything originally, but that Curtis (The "Pancake King", Sorry Marie) encouraged me to do so, and so, here I am. Blame him. ;)

That said, feminism is a touchy subject. In theory, I would like to support it. After all, what kind of guy wouldn't support women? They can be fun to talk to, and they have those lovely breasts that they carry around that we can look at and squeeze. (I'm being somewhat humorous here, folks, so please try to keep up and keep your panties out of a knot... ha, ha, ha.) But nevertheless, I find myself unwilling to call myself a feminist. Why? The reasons for this essentially boil down to a few major issues, which I'll try to address concisely below (I've written at great length on all of this on my blog, so just go there if you want to read something longer):

1. A lack of consistent meaning for the term.
2. A lack of self-policing, especially with respect to unchecked "backlash."
3. Hypocrisy.

One: What exactly does "feminism" mean? If you look it up in the dictionary, search Google, or ask around, you will hear myriad differing answers. Some people will answer you by saying that "feminism is the belief that women are people too." (Of course, such an answer is absurdly simplified, and exists less to explicate the term than to cast aspersions of, "Wat? Yuo dont supprot Fuminism? Wimon haetar!") Someone else might tell you that it refers to a socio- political system designed to lever women into positions of social power. Still someone else might tell you that it's a frame of mind designed to change the way that people think and eliminate the plague of violent masculine thinking. Someone else could say that it's a concept designed to create equal freedoms for women and men both. Another person might answer that it's an organization that exists to eliminate men and create a utopia by making a society of only women.

With so many extremely different ideas and no consensus as to what feminism is (a fact that some people, interestingly, cite as a strength), I feel extremely uncomfortable saying that I support it. I'm a member of the ACLU, but if it had no clear mission statement, I wouldn't be. I call myself a Democrat, and I know what that means. I identify myself as Jewish, and I know precisely what Judaism is. I can call myself a blogger, a man, an American, a liberal, a student, a mathematician, an environmentalist -- and I know exactly what each and every one of these things means, because they all have clear definitions. But I won't stick a label on myself if I can't tell you what it means. Feminism, if it ever had a clear meaning or purpose, has become a gargantuan all-encompassing term for a number of sub- concepts, which realistically should be broken into their own discrete, differently-named groups. (Hell, feminism is large enough that if you pick two feminists at random, they likely won't agree with each other on at least one issue that is claimed as a tenet of some part of feminism. For a famous instance of this, look into the "sex-positive feminists" versus the "anti-pornography feminists" (the "feminist sex wars"); the former believe that pornographic sex can be positive for women as well as men, while the latter believe that pornography is a large cause of rape and other violence.)

Two: Feminism doesn't police itself. If you're among a group of guys, and one of them makes a misogynistic comment, the others will usually admonish him. Similarly, in the media, if someone makes a comment that is sexist towards women, he or she is usually called on it, forced to apologize, and punished. However, feminism heartily embraces a number of things which, if put in reverse, would be immediately chastised. For example, while in a liberal store a couple weeks ago, I saw a bumper sticker that read, "If you feel attacked by feminism, it's probably a counter-attack." Apparently the appropriate
response to violence is more violence, then. A famous quote that many have no doubt heard is, "A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle." While the base meaning is obviously true (a woman does not specifically need a man per-se, just as the converse is true (a man does not specifically need a woman), and, similarly, a dog does not specifically need an owner, a bird does not specifically need a tree, you do not specifically need good-tasting food, etc.), most women (even lesbians) would probably agree that life wouldn't be as enjoyable without men. And for straight women, why not make it okay to "need" a man? I don't need a woman to survive, but I don't need electricity, nice clothing, a degree in mathematics, a car, a nice mattress, a group of good friends, or any of the other things that make my life pleasant either. In that vein, then, I do need a woman. Without women, my life would lack a critical piece -- that of a female counterpart to myself, someone to provide me with love, affection, sexual pleasure, companionship, intelligent conversation, and a different perspective. So, similarly for women, why can't they need men in the same way? It's not a weakness to say you need other people; conversely, however, it is a weakness to insist that you don't need someone else and insist upon living alone. We call such persons "sociopaths," because they cannot function within the normal constructs of society.

Aside from the aforementioned, there are many other and better examples of a lack of policing that I could cite as well. "SCUM" (the "Society for Cutting Up Men") is hailed as an interesting historical work instead of the insane, pathological writings of a murderer. Feminist writings still abound with references to "the patriarchy" (often capitalized, to humorous effect), with the inference being that it's bad because it's masculine. When discussing sexuality, male sexuality is often demonized, with men's sexual urges described as "violent" or "animal-like," and pornography described (by some) as something that makes rape acceptable or even appealing. Some have written on "the male gaze" -- the tendency that many men have to notice and observe attractive women -- and claimed that it is evidence of "enculturated sexual objectification of women," while still others have described men's sexual interests as infantile (by claiming, e.g., that many men's love of breasts can be directly correlated to experiences while nursing, and so, men have never outgrown their infant stage). The book, Are Men Necessary? is displayed in bookstores across the country -- and not as an example of pathology, but of great writing. Such are just a few examples of a lack of self-policing.

Three: Despite being lauded by many as a movement that aims to help men as well as women, feminism often turns a blind eye when men are adversely affected but women are not. I have never heard a feminist complain that the draft is unequal, despite the fact that men are required to register with Selective Service on their eighteenth birthday, and women are not only not required, but legally not able to do the same. Simply put, the message seems to be that since it's not their balls on the line, it doesn't matter. Feminists will often cite college enrollments as a victory for women instead of a problem -- despite the fact that men make up the vast minority of college applicants and students, the number of men graduating from and applying to college is falling, and the grades of boys in high school and below are consistently lower than their female counterparts -- and also falling. Last time I checked, inequality isn't equal... but apparently it is, as long as it's not unequal for you. The media are rife with images of violence towards men -- often with a laugh-track attached. One need only see a television commercial or show on a station of one's choice, or even just a movie trailer, to see men slapped in the face, anally raped in jail, or kicked in the testicles (all of which would no doubt be cast as "funny"). Try filming and then playing a scene with a woman who is hit, raped, or sexually assaulted, and I think knee-slapping laughter is the last response with which you'll be met. Yet such violence is not only accepted without thought, or treated as funny, it's often lauded as being good for women. "Yeah!," the message seems to be, "You go girl! Girl power!" And when they're not being assaulted, men in television are often stupid. Turn to the sitcom of your choice to see a bumbling father whose wife barely tolerates his endless stupidity.

Meanwhile, there is money to be made off of inequality elsewhere as well. Many Hallmark cards -- geared mainly towards women -- refer to men as stupid, lazy, or inept. It has become so commonplace to refer to men as animals that some men will preempt women, and call themselves "pigs" or "dogs" -- but, of course, it's not okay to call a woman a "bitch." Despite the almost universal hatred of men who treat women like "pieces of meat," and the disgust with men who judge women based on their breast size, if a man pays for the "evaluatress" service, a woman will come out, strip the man naked, and then grade him based on his physical appearance -- including whether or not his penis is large enough (for a similar train of thought, watch the hit show "Sex in the City"). In a similar vein, one woman has written a series of books on ways to abuse ex-boyfriends when breaking up with them without breaking the law, while another has created a website where ex-girlfriends can post pictures and contact info of their ex's, along with embarrassing information, in order to "get back" at them. Legally, men are at a severe disadvantage, with most marriage courts requiring men to pay alimony to their wives
regardless of whether or not the wives are more financially secure, and women often being given custody of children by default regardless of whether or not they should be. A woman need only claim that she was raped or molested to have a man brought to court, even if there is no evidence against him, and convicted or forced to give DNA samples that are kept permanently on file, even if he is found innocent. California just passed a bond measure approving the creation of shelters for domestic violence victims -- as long as they are women or children, and despite the fact that research shows that men and women commit domestic violence equally, but men are far less likely to report it when they are victims. The FBI does not record the number of rapes committed against men per year, because rape is defined as forcible sex with a female. Although many women suffer from depression and eating disorders, men commit suicide at a rate far higher than that of women, and anorexia and bulimia among men is a growing disorder, fueled, no doubt, by the growing trend of highly unrealistic male bodies in advertising -- something that is rarely, if ever, discussed. Although the data indicate that women are paid less than men on average, what is not often mentioned is the methodology by which the data are gathered -- simply taking the mean of all incomes, regardless of work time, experience, etc. -- and that when men and women with equal experience and work amounts are compared, their pay is virtually identical, with women paid even more than men in some fields. What does all of this have to do with feminism? Thusly: feminism, the system that exists to make men and women equal, does not discuss any of these things, nor try to correct them. It is apparently a system of one-sided equality.

The above is an executive summary of my main reasons for refusing to call myself a feminist. Instead, I call myself an egalitarian. I believe that people should be treated equally, and given equal freedoms, regardless of their sex, skin color, etc. However, I refuse to identify myself as a feminist, for the reasons outlined above, among others. It is simply a system with too many downsides.

And that's that. Peace out.

[Brian: Thank You, great job Jacob]

Two New Friends!

The Brian Factor would like to welcome two new friends: 3GreenFish.net and StrollingBrain.net. Curtis from 3GreenFish does reviews of random things. If you like random things, we encourage you to go to his site and suggest that he review them. Jacob (aka Cerebral Cortex) is a college student and mathematics major (don't worry, he has a sense of humor) and his blog contains rants about life and links to funny videos and things.

Brian's Song: Under Pressure

Getting ready for this Friday's special Factor is getting crazy!! I just don't know who to go with!!!!

They're all so good.. I'm going crazy!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

To help me get through I'm going Old School this week.

So for this week I spotlight "Under Pressure" By Queen as this week's Brian's Song


"Under Pressure"
By: Queen

Mm ba ba de
Um bum ba de
Um bu bu bum da de
Pressure pushing down on me
Pressing down on you no man ask for

Under pressure that brings a building down
Splits a family in two
Puts people on streets
Um ba ba be
Um ba ba be
De day da
Ee day da - that's okay

It's the terror of knowing
What the world is about
Watching some good friends
Screaming 'Let me out'
Pray tomorrow gets me higher
Pressure on people people on streets

Day day de mm hm
Da da da ba ba
Okay
Chippin' around - kick my brains around the floor
These are the days it never rains but it pours
Ee do ba be
Ee da ba ba ba
Um bo bo
Be lap
People on streets - ee da de da de
People on streets - ee da de da de da de da

It's the terror of knowing
What this world is about
Watching some good friends
Screaming 'Let me out'
Pray tomorrow - gets me higher higher high
Pressure on people people on streets

Turned away from it all like a blind man
Sat on a fence but it don't work
Keep coming up with love but it's so slashed and torn
Why - why - why?
Love love love love love

Insanity laughs under pressure we're breaking

Can't we give ourselves one more chance
Why can't we give love that one more chance
Why can't we give love give love give love give love
give love give love give love give love give love
'Cause love's such an old fashioned word
And love dares you to care for
The people on the (People on streets) edge of the
night
And loves (People on streets) dares you to change our
way of
Caring about ourselves
This is our last dance
This is our last dance
This is ourselves
Under pressure
Under pressure
Pressure...


Like what you read, want to know more? Then click the link and learn about Queen www.queenonline.com

"Under Pressure" is the off of... well any "Queen's Greatest Hits" album. Don't worry, there's only like a hundred different "Queen's Greatest Hits" packages out there.. and they're all available at music stores everywhere.



Got an idea for a future "Brian's Song", then hit us up and let us know, there's nothing fun and more truer than just sharing some kick ass tunes with the world.

Be sure to tune in this Friday to see who is speaking for America as I turn over TBF for one night to one lucky writer...

Until Next Time,

-Brian

Soundboard: Doin' It Well"

"Doin' It And Doin' It And Doin' It Well"

I kept thinking LL Cool J when I read this...

So some time ago I posted up a Soundboard spreading the word on the success of our good friend, Harlean Carpenter:

Soundboard - 05/23/07 - "Major Announcement!!!"

Well we have another update from our favorite poetic pinup, Harlean Carpenter:

"Ladies and Gentlemen, it's a happy day at www.poeticpinup.com

We thought Google loved us before. We were quite pleased with our fifth place ranking in searches for Harlean Carpenter. Today brings a piece of happy news. Today, we find ourselves as the SECOND search result.

Many thanks to all of you who have supported this project, whether by contributing to the site, visiting the site to keep us active in Google's eyes, or by simply sending a "hey, good job" note to keep the motivation level where it needs to be.

If you haven't visited lately, there have been some additions you might want to check out. The galleries, featuring Photography by Gianni, are now semi-up and running. Watermarks featuring the art of Liz Markus and Brian Rodriguez now have their own pages, and a new artist, Bobbie Jo Seva, will be added to the Watermarks collections within the next few days. And as always, the poem of the week changes, well, weekly. Usually on Wednesdays.

So check out all of this and more at www.poeticpinup.com And hey, tell a friend, it couldn't hurt..."

And again, thank you all,
Harlean

Brian: Congratulations H.C., I'm really proud of you and to everyone who checked her site out, Thank you.

Until Next Time,

-B

Soundboard: "Light a match..."

"Light a match and you'll have an inferno..."

So the first of the Feminism columns have come in and I'll admit I really like what I'm reading, but the main problem is I just can't decide which one to pick, so to help me out, Marie will be helping me in reviewing all entries to determine who gets the prime spot this coming Friday. as for the rest.. They're so good that I may still have them all posted. Just not on Friday.... Marie and I will figure something out.

Remember: It's not too late if you still want to throw your hat into the ring, you have until MONDAY NIGHT @ MIDNIGHT

As for Marie and I.... "Marie order us a couple of pizzas, order whatever you want on yours but make sure you get my favorite as well!!"

So stop reading at get back to work!!

Send all submissions to: thebrianfactormailbox@yahoo.com

Until Next Time,

- Brian and Marie

[Marie: Just so you know, I'm not paying for the tip, you're covering all this!

Brian: Fine!! But you get the next one...]

Echoes: Future Generations

Responses Posted on 06/08/07

Comment Submitted by Nabeshin luvr:

"THIS WORLD IS CORRUPT!!!!"
LOL
I luv Excel Saga
"Hail Il Palazzo!!!"


Response from Brian:

I wondered if any had gotten that when I wrote it.

What can I say? The Atmosphere of Fanime was infectious....

_____________________________________________________________________


Comment Submitted by Curtis:

The best definition of a Freudian Slip that I've come across is this: it's when you say one thing but mean your mother.

Also, I think I need to take exception to your assertion that the age difference between parents and kids is smaller than in the past. From what I've seen, the general trend through history is for people to wait longer to get married and have kids, a shift
that's associated with increasing longevity (if you're expecting to live beyond 30, you can have kids when you're 25 and still plan on being able to raise them).

Okay. I think your general point is valid. If you're going to have kids, you need to set yourself to it fully. No twiddling your thumbs and just hoping that they'll turn out okay. And there's a big issue these days with parents who essentially farm out their parenting to schools and daycare and then wonder why their kids don't understand, respect, or even pay attention to them.

I was raised in a very untraditional home. We homeschooled all the way through high school, I never spent any time in daycare, and I don't think I was EVER hit by my parents. My mother is a very assertive woman, and she took a hands-on approach to raising me and my siblings, but she let us pursue our own interests rather than imposing her will on us. Considering that I turned out to be about as well-adjusted as it is possible to be these days, I have to say that it worked. A big part of why it worked was the fact that we had that family structure- we weren't ever really at odds because we were part of that same social entity, we didn't have school to teach us bad behaviors.

As for my Dad, he's always been something of a kid himself, and at this point our relationship is much more like a friendship, and it works out fine. I see people sometimes who just don't relate to their parents at all, and it just makes me sad. Being a
parent has to include the knowledge that someday your kids are going to be adults themselves, and their mistakes and successes will be their own, and you're not going to be in charge of them anymore. At some point you're going to be more or less equals, and raising them in such a way that they'll want to have an amiable relationship with you when they're grown is
something to aim for.

I guess, in the long run, what I'm trying to say is that you need to have a hand in your child's development, and yes, you need to be in charge, but you should never forget that your kids are people too. If you're reasonable in your parenting, they'll get it. You want them to respect you? Then you need to be fair, you need to be nonarbitrary, and you need to be there for them when they need you. Remember, some day they'll be choosing your nursing home.


Response From Brian:

True.. I mean I'll be honest, there's a lot that I never got a chance to cover, a lot of it with surrounding some of the current problems with today's youth, I've noticed that many kids are somehow believing themselves to be more than what they are, I
know it something we've all felt at one time or another, but I see kids acting like they've come up with a hard life when they really just grew up in the 'burbs, or an even worse example: an undeserved sense of entitlement.

I think we can blame pretty much everything left and right: TV, magazines, Hollywood and above all else let's place the blame where it belongs on the parents. Also let's face the unpleasant truth that kids grow up thinking that there was no world before the invention of MTV or instead of being brought up on hard work and sacrifice and are instead being brought up on three things:

Scarface, The Chronic Album, and Playstation.

These are not something you use as the basis of your life.. this is entertainment... and if you don't understand what that means then I'll give you the Brian definition: Something to distract you for specific period in your life

And this is what is shaping America and why?? Because you as a parent couldn't sit your kid down and really teach 'em because what? you were afraid of failure? or you were just too goddamn lazy!! cause God only knows that when your daughter's 16 and tells you she's pregnant it's someone else's fault cause you did the best you could! you made sure to get her a GOOD BABYSITTER TO BE HER ALL DAY WHILE YOU HAD OTHER IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO AND ALSO MADE SURE SHE HAD A FUCKIN' GOOD PRESCHOOL TO GO EVERYDAY INSTEAD OF SPENDING THE DAY WITH MOM AND DAD AND OF COURSE GAVE HER EVERYTHING SHE'S EVER FUCKIN WANTED SO SHE COULD NEVER BE DISAPPOINTED AND SEE HOW HARSH THE WORLD CAN BE WHEN YOU CAN'T HAVE AN ICE CREAM, SO HOW COULD YOU BE A BAD FUCKIN PARENT!!! HUH? TELL ME...

Yes you do have to acknowledge that a child is a person but do remember that they are inexperienced people, they won't know what's right or wrong until they fail. So love your children, BE THERE FOR YOUR CHILDREN and remember that placing your kid in the care of someone else or in front of the TV all day doesn't make you a parent... it makes you FUCKIN' PATHETIC.
_____________________________________________________________________


[Note from Brian 06/08/07: I should apologize about what I wrote here, at the time I worte this reply I had just recieved the news of my Uncle's health beforehand and as you could see I took it out here on my work, and I will admit that what I said was probably the most truthful thing I could say but obviously the tone was a little overboard, so for that I do apologize and I am glad to report that my Uncle's surgery was a success and he should make a full recovery, so thank you to all well wishers and I want to say to my friends:

I just want to say that I'm sorry for not being around the last few days, I just wanted some time alone to think, but I'm ok now, and enjoying the very long deserved end to a VERY LONG WEEK....]


So next week on The Brian Factor... oh wait that's right.. next week's the 11th, and if I recall that's the deadline for all participants to submit their entries for TBF: Feminism

So next week it won't be The Brian Factor it'll be.. who knows?

Remember you have until Monday, Email all submissions to: thebrianfactormailbox@yahoo.com

YOU UP TO THE CHALLENGE????

WE HAVE COME TO TERMS....

Eloy's Song

This week is a very special "Brian's Song" because I'm dedicating this week's song to my Uncle Eloy. Early Tuesday morning I was informed that my Uncle had to have heart surgery on Wednesday. I know there's a million details to it but it is a family matter and thus I won't go into detail.

Growing up my father wasn't around and I did have enough people to step in as surrogates but my uncle was different. he didn't act like a father but more like an older brother. we'd horse around and believe it or not he's the one to blame for my taste in music today. When I was four years old he slapped some headphones on me and busted out some Metallica,
Motorhead, GNR, Motley Crue, and of course Judas Priest and I've been hooked ever since and honestly... I really liked that.

My half-brothers never really wanted anything to do with me and he stepped up when he was still just a punk no older than I am now and he was there. I have faith in a lot of things and I have faith that he'll make through this.. besides my family is a stubborn bunch, "too stubborn to live, too stubborn to die"... it kinda became the family motto.

So tonight, all jokes aside, we here at The Brian Factor kick it old school just for you Eloy...So tonight I'm dedicating this for you man.. I love you and I know you're gonna be fine, man!!

So this week I'm Spotlighting "You've Got Another Thing Comin' " By Judas Priest as this week's Eloy's Song.

You've Got Another Thing Comin'
By Judas Priest

One life, I'm gonna live it up
I'm takin' flight, I said I'll never get enough.
Stand tall, I'm young and kinda proud
I'm on top as long as the music's loud.

If you think I'll sit around as the world goes by
You're thinkin' like a fool 'cause it's a case of do or die.
Out there is a fortune waitin' to be had
If you think I'll let it go you're mad
You've got another thing comin'.

That's right, here's where the talkin' ends
Well listen, this night there'll be some action spent.
Drive hard, I'm callin' all the shots
I got an ace card comin' down on the rocks.

If you think I'll sit around while you chip away my brain
Listen I ain't foolin' and you'd better think again.
Out there is a fortune waitin' to be had
If you think I'll let it go you're mad
You've got another thing comin'.

In this world we're livin' in, we have our share of sorrow
Answer now is don't give in, aim for a new tomorrow.

Oh so hot, no time to take a rest yeah
Act tough, ain't room for second best.
Real strong, got me some security
Hey I'm a big smash, I'm goin' for infinity yeah.

If you think I'll sit around as the world goes by
You're thinkin' like a fool 'cause it's a case of do or die.
Out there is a fortune waitin' to be had
If you think I'll let it go you're mad
You've got another thing comin'

You've got another thing comin'
You've got another thing comin'


Like what you read, want to know more? Then click the link and learn about Judas Preist http://www.judaspriest.com/

"You've Got Another thing Comin' " is the off of "Screaming For Vengeance" which is available at music stores everywhere.



Got an idea for a future "Brian's Song", then hit us up and let us know, there's nothing fun and more truer than just sharing some kick ass tunes with the world.

Please throw in a quick prayer for my Uncle if you can this week and Thank you for being always a great audience.

Until Next Time,

-Brian

TBF: Future Generations

To open this week's column, please enjoy a performance by A Beautiful Tragedy...

[Brian: "I believe the children are our future..."]

[Marie: Boo!!! Get off the stage!!!]

[Brian: All right fine!! We'll do it the old fashion way, cue the music!!!}

The Kids Aren't Alright
By: The Offspring

When we were young the future was so bright,
The old neighborhood was so alive.
And every kid on the whole damn street,
Was gonna make it big and not be beat.

Now the neighborhood's cracked and torn,
The kids are grown up but their lives are worn.
How can one little street,
Swallow so many lives!

Chances thrown,
Nothing's free,
Longing for what used to be.
Still it's hard,
Hard to see,
Fragile lives, shattered dreams.

Jamie had a chance, well she really did,
Instead she dropped out and had a couple of kids.
Mark still lives at home cause he's got no job,
He just plays guitar and smokes a lot of pot.

Jay committed suicide,
Brandon OD'd and died.
What the hell is going on?
The cruelest dream, reality.

Chances thrown,
Nothing's free,
Longing for what used to be.
Still it's hard,
Hard to see,
Fragile lives, shattered dreams.

Chances thrown,
Nothing's free,
Longing for what used to be.
Still it's hard,
Hard to see,
Fragile lives, shattered dreams....

---

THIS WORLD IS CORRUPT!!!!!!

Wait.. I'm getting ahead of myself. Ok so without question we pass on the reins of our world from generation to generation. I mean that's just how life works, we're born, we learn, we live, we love, have children, teach them everything we learned and then we die. Obviously this doesn't happen all in one day and thank God cause I'll be honest.. I'd be screwed!!!

We as people are responsible for the shaping and development of our children as they grow into the men and women they are to become. So the question becomes: "Are we doing the right thing?"

Everything is done with the best of intentions but are our intentions helping or hindering our children?

This week on The Brian Factor: Future Generations

This topic has pretty much been a couple of years in the making, and it never really gained any steam until about a month ago, I had read a couple of stories from across the country about how schools were taking the initiative on protecting children from such great dangers like: rough housing, wedgies, and the dreaded.... High five!!!

[Marie: EEEEEEEEEE!!!!] (faints)

I think I got a little ahead of myself... So I'll pick my editor back up and backtrack a little.

See in a West Virgina high school, they added regulations to punish anyone for rough housing, so we're not talking about actual fighting... we're talking rough housing, rasslin around, boys being boys, shit like that. Now the main reason for the changes is to protect children from getting injured... which at first naturally sounds like more of an act of protection from liability (Don't forget, I work in a law firm, I am familiar with stuff like this) but actually they meant to say that they were protecting children from injuring themselves socially... Uh, Wha?

So apparently they figure that a child who roughhouses will gain a mental sense of confrontation and become more aggressive, competitive, and like harsh out the mellow vibes, man... (ok, I made that last one up) or that the other outcome would be a child that becomes a social outcast because he couldn't handle himself against the other guys and ends up a weird loner who get shunned by the school until Columbine happened and then the school labels him a risk and everyone tries to be his best friend thinking that he'll spare them from "judgment day" and ends up not liking people and spends his days writing columns about how people are morons because they flinch at stupid shit... Oops, HAHAHA... Freudian Slip, anyway...

[Marie: That was not a Freudian slip.]

Now, about here I gladly have enough ammo to go on a tirade and rip someone a new asshole BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!!!

I recently heard about an elementary school in Palo Alto, CA, (Goddammit, in my own state!, this shit is spreading faster than 28 Days Later...) So the principal made an edict that she didn't want the children to give high fives, tease each other, hug each other, and basically no signs of either affection or anger towards one another. I think I said it best when I said... "Uh, Wha?"

MY TWO CENTS

Now how can I start this, I mean I literally have a million possible choices on where to start from...

Aw screw it, now I say this with love:

YOU PEOPLE ARE COMPLETE FUCKIN MORONS!!!!

I understand that you want to raise your kids better than how you were all raised but face facts: you are who you are because of how you were raised. Everyone's circumstances were different:

- You grew up in a bad neighborhood so you did what you did to survive.

- Your family was broke growing up so you never knew the finer things like designer sneakers and fancy label clothes.

- You did all your shopping at Sears and everyone laughed at you.

Sounds familiar? And because of those memories, you opted to raise your kids different well there are different types of parents now a days so allow me to give a basic tutorial on their methods and their eventual failures...

GIVER: They say it's better to give than receive.... Well that's true for Christmas, but not when you're raising a child. Givers stem from bad experiences of never having the finer things in life, in fact every time they wanted that one great toy growing up, they'd never get it, and regardless of how many useful and necessary gifts they would receive, for not having that one perfect gift, every Birthday and Christmas was automatically considered a disaster. So to compensate when they were young, they give their children everything they've ever wanted, and in this world of PS3's and iPods and such you're spending a small fortune just to make your kid happier than you were at their age.

Now, not to rain on your parade, but you do realize that everything you've bought your child in the first 10 years is more or less equivalent to a college fund and you've now set your child's satisfaction levels to an all time high. So now they're gonna be asking you for even more expensive crap that we all know they don't need. But you can't say no can you? and now you're stuck with a spoiled brat who doesn't know the meaning of the word "no", which means he becomes an asshole who thinks he's entitled to the world.

BFF: Growing up, we knew the chain of command, kids below, parents on top. Back then parents were more or less God-like to us, and we just never could relate completely to them no matter how much either of us tried, sure we had similar interests, but obviously there are notable differences: they hate your clothes, your music and most of all they hate your friends and your first three boyfriends/ girlfriends. So to compensate for this they don't act like parents, they act like they're your older brother or sister, which means that they let you slide with shit, they'll sometimes hook you up with beer and try to hang out in the same circles as you. All your friends know your mom/ dad by their first name and life is like an episode of Gilmore Girls...

OK, now I know that the age difference between most parents and kids now a days is fairly small (20-25 years) as opposed to before (30-40 years) So I will admit, it is easier to relate to your kids, but that doesn't mean that you should act like a kid. Some one has to be an adult in the house and that someone should not be the person younger than you, So if that "adult" believes that the new world began after the introduction of MTV, it's safe to say that they shouldn't be in charge. If you don't act like an adult, then your kids are gonna want to do a whole bunch of stupid shit that you know isn't a smart move but "YOU WANNA BE COOL" so you let them get away with practically murder. So please DO NOT try to act as if you're the same age as your kid, YOU'RE NOT, so go have your own life, go have your own friends, find a middle ground between being their best friend and being a God and remember, you make the final call on all things relating to your child...

TALKERS: Now we're taught that fighting never solves anything and to a point they're right. Growing up if you misbehaved, you were punished, you didn't like it, you immediately hated your parents for punishing you and you swore never to punish your kids. So instead of grounding them and hitting them, you decide to challenge them emotionally. you reach out to them trying to put yourself in their shoes and understanding what it means to strive as an individual and together you reach an understanding that brings you closer not only as a family but as two people who love and respect one another...

YOU'RE FUCKIN KIDDING ME, RIGHT?

I get that the point of this whole "New Age, I love my kids as I love myself" thing is aimed at creating a peaceful, happy home filled with understanding and shit like that and I agree that really explaining things helps to send a message to your kids but be real, eventually you're gonna reach a point where you have to put foot to ass, and believe me when talking fails, nothing makes a hard simple point like foot to ass, So yes talk to your kids and do explain what they did was wrong and then if they still give you crap, bitchslap 'em but tell the truth: "you're hard on them because you care" They're not going to understand it right away but eventually they will and they might even thank you for it.

OLD SCHOOL: I grew up in a Mexican household which meant simply, "momma ain't having it" and most importantly "Gramma ain't having it either" so it's hit first, hit second, hit third and mmmmaaaybe in two years, ask a question.

I learned fear before I learned to walk, in fact I was so scared on what I'd do to get hit that I crawled for five extra years just in fear for my own life. Why do you think so many Mexicans are sneaking over here: WE TRYING TO GET AWAY FROM OUR MOMMAS and why do you think we're so damn good at sneaking around and crawling into small spaces, porque sabes que we have 10 years of practice... We're so good at hiding that when my mom was looking for me I ran and hid better than Special Forces and Navy Seals Combined...

Anyway, I have one Uncle who's kinda a Giver and one Uncle who's Old School and I'll tell you man, if you got some bratty ass kids, nothing works better than the Old School method, my "OS" Uncle proved this one time as my cousins were in the middle of their bullshit fighting and my Uncle grabbed their video game, took it outside, and smashed it with his foot right in front of them and they stopped like that and I know that it sounds bad and it is but it works.

Obviously to "better" it, just take a lesson from the Talker, hell follow what I said on how to fix a Talker and you should be just fine.

Anyway, I'm sure there's more types of parents but right now I'm drained, so just do this everyone: Love your kids, be there for them, but remember no matter how much you love them, you cannot be afraid to put your foot down and tell them "no!" and they're gonna hate you for it, but its better to be the bad guy than be irresponsible.

WE HAVE COME TO TERMS.........

UNTIL NEXT TIME

-B