June 30, 2006

TBF Season One Finale

Rose Of Sharyn (Killswitch Engage)

Numb and broken, here I stand alone
Wondering what were the last words I said to you
Hoping, praying that I'll find a way to turn back time
Can I turn back time?

What would I give to behold
The smile, the face of love?
You never left me
The rising sun will always speak your name

Numb and broken, here I stand alone
Wondering what were the last words I said to you
It won't be long, we'll meet again

What would I give to behold
The smile, the face of love?
You never left me
The rising sun will always speak your name

It won't be long, we'll meet again
Your memory is never passing
It won't be long, we'll meet again
My love for you is everlasting

I mourn for those who never knew you

It won't be long, we'll meet again
Your memory is never passing
It won't be long, we'll meet again
My love for you is everlasting....


It's hard to figure out a cut off point to end this season, I wanted to go many routes but nothing really clicked, so instead of focusing on one topic, i'm ending this season by just doing what I've always done.... I'm straight up speaking my mind......

There are a million things going on in our everyday world, and it'd be easy to forget about them and focus on the big things: Censorship, Gay Marriage, Abortions, Religion, but what the other things.

So tonight on The Brian Factor, we tackle: Everything In Between.....

Sex:

Let's be honest about it, now kids are having it sooner than many of you did when you were younger, if kids are gonna be having sex then, they should know everything, the good, the bad and definitely the ugly. I mean hold nothing back, tell them, show them give it all to these kids otherwise they'll find out the old fashioned way: after three kids and a nasty collection of STD's. just grow up and explain it to them, they'll understand, and don't give them that "the stork" and "when a mommy and daddy really like each other..." bullshit, all you'll do is screw them up before they even try. when you understand the joys and the consiquences of sex, then they are at the very least informed and then whatever happens happens...

Commercialism:

A perfect example of this is the use of music in commercials, the other day I'm chilling out watching TV and I hear Lynard Skynard, but it was a commercial for KFC, now I know Skynard from growing up with Rock n Roll all my life and now it's glory is reduced to being associated with chicken, and how can a song about Alabama be associated with Kentucky!!!! and now every time I hear "Sweet Home Alabama" I feel like getting a two peice with a buscuit, and in all honesty, I'm surprised they didn't use "Freebird". and then of course you find Led Zepplin selling out to fuckin Mazda, Mazda!!!! you're selling out for a fuckin shitty car that really is nothing more than a fuckin clown car (and I know from experience). My main problem with selling out is this, you take some of the world's most historically significant music and from now on every kid wo hears the song on the radio will say "hey, that's the KFC song or the Mazda song, Zoom Zoom!!" I know that there's been other who've done it but I named those two as prime examples since it was the most I could think of at the moment.

Parenthood:

I grew up in a world where I feared the hand, and i'll tell you I see the new method of talking it out and in all honesty, talking can and does prove useful, but only in the right situations. Example: your kid is running, screaming around the store and refuses to be quiet and stop running around, do you A: talk it out and and come to a comprimise. or B: smack him and warn him he'll get another if he don't stop... what will you do? the answer....C: both, smack him once and then explain why you did it, eventually he'll learn that misbehavior= the hand.
Example 2: your teenage child says they want to get a tattoo/ piercing, what do you do? A: scream at the top of your lungs NO or B: actually talk it out, go into extreme detail of what the process and risks and etc. about it... answer...... is B!!!!

My point is this, you can talk to your kids, and you can hit them, but there's a balance to it, as they're younger, they won't always listen right off the bat, so you have to go to drastic measures and eventually they'll learn and soon you have to talk it out to explain why they got hit and soon you arrive at a point to where you'll never have to hit em again, though be sure to explain the hitting technique to they can apply it to their kids and everyone learns and we're all happy....

Now you're probably wondering if there's any form of a sucess story to his methodology, well, there's Me. When I was growing up my mom spoke to me like an adult (even though I was a baby) and baby talked me and gave me the hand when I wouldn't stop misbehaving and explained why I shouldn't do it in the first place, and as I grew up I wanted an earring and a tattoo and both times I did it behind her back and then we sat down and talked about why I should and shouldn't, each others personal beliefs on tats and piercings, and afterwards I realized that I'm glad I got them but at least I was informed before hand and so I didn't do it to be cool, and no peer pressure was involved, it was all my idea and I was glad to make it.

All in all, I became informed about everything growing up: sex, smoking, drinking, peer pressure, I learned so much, not from being given some half assed story, but by the truth, cold hard facts and being shown the reality of my choices if I do them for reasons other than my own.

There's never any shame in being honest, it's what being true to yourself is all about, you may hurt people's feelings but real friends will understand that you're giving you honest opinion, this season, I shared so much both of my mind and of my heart, I admit it wasn't always easy, and I even got intimidated at times but I still gave my honest thoughts to you. So now I'm tired, it's been a long six months and I need a vacation, hell, in fact next friday (7/7/06) is my 22nd Birthday, so what a way to go out for the summer, The world isn't perfect, in fact we're a good ways away from being near it, but that doesn't mean that it's impossible to change, if we start being more open about what bugs us, we learn how much many of us are on the same page about the main issues and can unite to help fix the problem, call me crazy but sometimes you can get lucky enough to pull it off. There are many good people I this world and I've had the pleasure to meet many of them, so I know I'm not alone.

So now as you read this, I'm enjoying a little quiet time to reflect and I'm simply doing my everyday things, you won't hear from me for a while but it doesn't mean I'm not around....

My Name Is Brian and This was The Brian Factor....

Don't worry, I'm only getting started, so see you in the fall.

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June 24, 2006

Echoes: Abortion

Responses Posted on 6/23/06

Comment Submitted From Melissa:

(in response to The Brian Factor of 6/16/06)
"DIDO...you said it all! I still say you should be a writer!"


Response From Brian:

Thanks... and i think you mean "Ditto"

Question/ Comment Submitted From Dr. Love:

Ha Ha! You're an old man now, Ha Ha Ha, So what are you gonna want for your Birthday and when was it again?


Response From Brian:

Well, My Birthday is on July 7th, Secondly i'm Turning 22, to many people i'm still a child or a young adult (even though i feel 56 on the inside and look 34 on the outside) and as for gifts, no one's asked what i wanted but i trust their judgement...

But if they wanted an idea of where i like to shop:

www.budk.com
www.native-instruments.com
www.hottopic.com
www.towerrecords.com
www.playbo...ooops, forget that one.....

Finally as to your "old man" comment... Kiss My Ass!

Question Submitted From Nate:

With the season finale coming up next friday, can you give us an idea of how you're gonna end it?


Response From Brian:

You'll have to wait and see....

Question Submitted From Ally:

So what is the plan for your time off from your columns?


Response From Brian:

Mostly working on ABT, Draven will be coming to town to help me both working on current material and of course celebrating my Birthday and that's about it.

The Brian Factor will return in October.

Comment Submitted By Marie:

What really pisses me off about this issue is the people who argue on the pro-life side. Sure, most of them are normal and intelligent people, but it's the most politically and religiously powerful and the violently demonstrative people who get the most air time. These people are all either insane, ignorant, or untrustworthy. Some, of course, are all three.

First of all: most of the anti-abortion protestors who bomb clinics and threaten the lives of doctors are male. Hypocrites. Being pro-life and trying to kill and hurt people is a contradiction. It's irrational, *you* are irrational and, therefore, insane.

The rich and conservative white men (who have an ungodly and unconstitutional amount of political power) are misogynist bastards too. Sure, you guys can have an opinion, but it should carry less weight than those of women in the matter of women's rights and health. You can have equal influence on these issues once you grow ovaries and a uterus. This applies not only to abortion but to birth control, cervical cancer, and other female health issues. Like those men who justify the deaths of 300,000 women per year from vaccine-preventable HPV because "a drug that prevents a STD just encourages women to have sex." That's bullshit. You men are the ones who have the more unmanageable sex drives. If you men could control yourselves, get your tubes tied, or get mental help for that sex addiction, then rape and the resulting abortions would no longer be a problem. And you want to prolong your obsession with sex! *Viagra* causes more sex than the availability of birth control pills! You old guys need to figure out and accept that there's more to being human and a man than your virility. Seems you want to have the virility of male rabbits. Is being like a rabbit the most important achievement?

The powerful men seem to have an aversion to consistency. A fetus has a right to live. A young man has a duty to die in a war. The "rights" of a tadpole with human DNA takes precedence over a woman who already five kids, no husband, and three minimum wage jobs. If human life is so important, then shouldn't you be encouraging social programs that protect and enrich lives? If you conservative Washington fat-cats really had intelligence and integrity you would be sponsoring post-natal health care, school programs, free lunches, the raising of minimum wage, social security, welfare, free clinics, etc.

They are obviously not pro-life. Instead they are perpetuating sexism, racism, and classism. It's single women and immigrants and the chronically unemployed who suffer the most.


Response From Brian:

Fuck yeah!!!

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June 15, 2006

TBF: Abortion

This has been one of the greatest social debates of the last 100 years, the end result of passion, the end result of love, sometimes the end result of booze, drugs and unfortunately sometimes the end result of rape....

There lies the end result, often considered a blessing and often considered an accident, this freedom to choose is both a powerful choice and a controversal one, so we'll attempt to tackle it.

We tackle on The Brian Factor...... Abortion

Over the course of the history of abortion, induced abortions have been a source of considerable debate and controversy regarding the morality and legality of this practice. An individual's position on the complex ethical, moral, philosophical, biological, and legal issues have a strong relationship with that individual's value system. A person's position on abortion may be best described as a combination of their personal beliefs on the morality of abortion, and that person's beliefs on the ethical scope and responsibility of legitimate governmental and legal authority. Another factor for many individuals is religious doctrine

Abortion debates, especially pertaining to abortion laws, are often spearheaded by advocacy groups belonging to one of two camps. Most often those in favor of legal prohibition of abortion describe themselves as pro-life while those against legal restrictions on abortion describe themselves as pro-choice. Both are used to indicate the central principles in arguments for and against abortion: "Is the fetus a human being with a fundamental right to life?" for pro-life advocates, and, for those who are pro-choice, "Does a woman have the right to choose whether or not to have an abortion?"

Often times the debate focuses on sub targets, most notably when the fetus qualifies as a person and weither a woman even has a choice if she gets pregnant, since conservatives rule with over two thirds control in our government, many have been pushing the issue of pro life laws that would outlaw abortion, prevent the possibility of abortion occurring til after it's biologically too late to abort, and remove all life and death decisions from women in general.

In my opinion, I do believe that women have the right to choose. Everyone has different dreams, everyone has a different life, I know people who can have children but don't want to, and vice versa, recently a friend of mine found out she was pregnant and was overjoyed by the news, people want to live their lives, and of course this includes women. There's no doubt that an abortion is a life altering decision, and I won't lie in saying that any woman going through that process is putting herself through so much, physical, emotional, and even spiritual truma, that if they elect to go through it then they should be allowed to do so.

To become a mother is considered to be one of the greatest feelings in the world, to be responsible for creating life is without question one of the most amazing things about life itself, but the truth is that some people can't handle it, or find out that their unborn child is stricken with numerous health problems and other life threatening aliments, or some women are the victims of rape that result in a pregnancy that the mother couldn't bring herself to bring to term, thus abortion would be used.

Usually I have some direct answer to these columns, something logical and that works for both sides, but in this debate there's too many specifics to decide, but I can say this, every case is different, every woman is different, always see it all from all the angles, don't pick the sides by absolution, the circumstances are different each and everytime. So to those who don't know what to do, just trust your heart... it's your choice.

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June 09, 2006

Echoes: Depression

Responses Posted On 6/09/06

"I realize now that i have only two more columns left in this season, 6/30/06 is coming up and i already have begun working on the last two columns and since i have two topics left on my "Big 5" so i guess it means back to back "Big 5" topics... this will be interesting."

Comment submitted by the Dreamer:
I should hope so ! hehe lol BOO! YOU really need to get out more your youth is just passing you by.


Response From Brian:
................... Nice to know that people care........

Comment Submitted by Marie:
Depression sucks. Unfortunately, it seems to be a widespread phenomenon in our society; nearly everyone you know has had it at one point or another. But for the few people who haven't fallen into the painful depths of utter despair it's a completely alien concept. From them you may just get a sincere hug and a "C'mon, be happy!" which just makes me feel more fucked up and not normal.

Ways I've dealt with it is therapy (years and years and goddamn *years* of that shit, including two years at an "emotional growth" therapeutic boarding school), exercise (Note that I say "excercise" and not "exorcise", which unfortunately takes more energy and more time than simply expelling the evil depression demons. That'd be pretty cool, though: one "Begone, demon!" and you're cured.), and self-mutilation (which DOES NOT work). Therapy works, I guess, at least at the beginning. Once you can spew the psychobabble back and know all the right answers that a shrink wants, it doesn't really work any more.

So I guess when you get to the point of disillusionment that I've reached you've just gotta take it day by day and make sure you have friends who know what you're going through and you can talk about things with. And medication. (Zoloft has been getting me through the day since elementary school and Ativan makes me high and giggly.)

Yup. So that's pretty much where I am now. Getting through life, backsliding occassionally, and not really giving a shit about stuff sometimes, like right now when I'm writing this during class instead of pay attention to the lecture. (Just in case you're wondering, the prof is discussing estatism or something, and the reading we were supposed to do (which, of course, I never read).) I think I'll wrap this up, leave class forty minutes early, and get something to eat.

Keep on truckin' or whatever. Later. :)


Response From Brian:
.....uh....wow....

well in all honesty, you're right.

For those who've never dealt with it, depression is an alien concept and it helps to have people who dealt with it themselves to act as a sound board, that's why whenever i'm sinking down to my low points, i start typing and send my friends an email with me just unloading, they read it and share their thoughts, tell stories of similar situations and offer advice or the one thing that just helps more than everything... they're just there, which to me is all i really need.

As for drugs, i tried Zoloft, made me really sick to my stomach and i never took them ever again, Now i know this next statment will make me appear as Tom Cruise Jr, but i don't believe in taking drugs... tomorrow i start jumping on couches.

Now thankfully i never got to the point where i felt like ending it all, i admit the thought had crossed my mind once but that was only cause some asshole who didn't like me was mind fucking with me and actually was trying to convince me to end it all when i was at a low point.

Thankfully and obviously, it didn't work.

When i'm low, i take it one day at a time, most days i'm really happy, others i'm really down, this past weekend... defintely sad, now i'm an 8 out of 10.

I learned above all else that i'm gonna keep trying everyday, i can't predict the future but i'll still keep going....

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June 02, 2006

TBF: Depression

The Big Come Down (The Fragile)

There is a game i play
Try to make myself okay
Try so hard to make the pieces all fit
Smash it apart just for the fuck of it
Bye bye oooh
Got to get back to the bottom
Oooh
The big come down, isn't that what you wanted?
Oooh
Find a place with the failed and forgotten
Oooh
Isn't that really what you wanted now?

There is no place i can go, there is no way i can hide.
It feels like it keeps coming from the inside...

There is a hate that burns within
The most desperate place i have ever been
Try to get back to where i'm from
The closer i get the worse it becomes
The closer i get the worse it becomes

There is no place i can go, there is no place i can hide.
It feels like it keeps coming from the inside...."

Underneath It All:

"All i do
I can still feel you
All i do
I can still feel you
All i do
I can still feel you
All i do
I can still feel you
All i do
I can still feel you
Numb all through
I can still feel you
Hear your call
Underneath it all
Kill my brain
Yet you still remain

Crucified
After all i've died
After all i've tried
You are still inside

All i do
I can still feel you
All i do
I can still feel you
All i do
I can still feel you
All i do
I can still feel you
All i do
I can still feel you
All i do (You remain)
I can still feel you (I am stained)


For anyone who's ever had depression, we struggle with our off days, we look outside and we wonder about it all. That feeling of emptiness is undeniable at times, it almost suffocates. So how can we survive the pain, well there is no simple answer, it's a struggle, it's a day by day life. We hurt cause the wounds are so deep that they can't just heal right away, we each have our way to deal with it: Religion, Drugs, Therapy, Self Medicating.. (though I never recommend that)I know many people who've dealt with this, and they all chose every option I listed especially that last one...

I do want to be better and I try to be but I know it means changing, some of the changes were easy and some weren't. i've looked in the mirror and stared at what it turned me into, and I didn't like what I saw. So when I didn't like what I saw I decided to do something about it, I began creating and my creations reflected where I was and who I am at the time. I close my eyes and look inside myself to figure out why I hurt when I do, I kept running through everything and I realize I hurt cause I felt that pain so long ago but the only person who kept it going was myself and I did at times but now I realize that I'm getting older and I want to move on. We can only live with so much inside, eventually we need to move on. I'm working to release everything inside, I put it in my work and I try to live a life where it doesn't become this overwhelming factor in my life, granted sometimes it would be easier if I went walking on hot coals... but I'm willing to try.

I realize now that I have only two more columns left in this season, 6/30/06 is coming up and I already have begun working on the last two columns and since I have two topics left on my "Big 5" so I guess it means back to back "Big 5" topics... this will be interesting.

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