Echoes: Depression
Responses Posted On 6/09/06
"I realize now that i have only two more columns left in this season, 6/30/06 is coming up and i already have begun working on the last two columns and since i have two topics left on my "Big 5" so i guess it means back to back "Big 5" topics... this will be interesting."
Comment submitted by the Dreamer:
I should hope so ! hehe lol BOO! YOU really need to get out more your youth is just passing you by.
Response From Brian:
................... Nice to know that people care........
Comment Submitted by Marie:
Depression sucks. Unfortunately, it seems to be a widespread phenomenon in our society; nearly everyone you know has had it at one point or another. But for the few people who haven't fallen into the painful depths of utter despair it's a completely alien concept. From them you may just get a sincere hug and a "C'mon, be happy!" which just makes me feel more fucked up and not normal.
Ways I've dealt with it is therapy (years and years and goddamn *years* of that shit, including two years at an "emotional growth" therapeutic boarding school), exercise (Note that I say "excercise" and not "exorcise", which unfortunately takes more energy and more time than simply expelling the evil depression demons. That'd be pretty cool, though: one "Begone, demon!" and you're cured.), and self-mutilation (which DOES NOT work). Therapy works, I guess, at least at the beginning. Once you can spew the psychobabble back and know all the right answers that a shrink wants, it doesn't really work any more.
So I guess when you get to the point of disillusionment that I've reached you've just gotta take it day by day and make sure you have friends who know what you're going through and you can talk about things with. And medication. (Zoloft has been getting me through the day since elementary school and Ativan makes me high and giggly.)
Yup. So that's pretty much where I am now. Getting through life, backsliding occassionally, and not really giving a shit about stuff sometimes, like right now when I'm writing this during class instead of pay attention to the lecture. (Just in case you're wondering, the prof is discussing estatism or something, and the reading we were supposed to do (which, of course, I never read).) I think I'll wrap this up, leave class forty minutes early, and get something to eat.
Keep on truckin' or whatever. Later. :)
Response From Brian:
.....uh....wow....
well in all honesty, you're right.
For those who've never dealt with it, depression is an alien concept and it helps to have people who dealt with it themselves to act as a sound board, that's why whenever i'm sinking down to my low points, i start typing and send my friends an email with me just unloading, they read it and share their thoughts, tell stories of similar situations and offer advice or the one thing that just helps more than everything... they're just there, which to me is all i really need.
As for drugs, i tried Zoloft, made me really sick to my stomach and i never took them ever again, Now i know this next statment will make me appear as Tom Cruise Jr, but i don't believe in taking drugs... tomorrow i start jumping on couches.
Now thankfully i never got to the point where i felt like ending it all, i admit the thought had crossed my mind once but that was only cause some asshole who didn't like me was mind fucking with me and actually was trying to convince me to end it all when i was at a low point.
Thankfully and obviously, it didn't work.
When i'm low, i take it one day at a time, most days i'm really happy, others i'm really down, this past weekend... defintely sad, now i'm an 8 out of 10.
I learned above all else that i'm gonna keep trying everyday, i can't predict the future but i'll still keep going....
"I realize now that i have only two more columns left in this season, 6/30/06 is coming up and i already have begun working on the last two columns and since i have two topics left on my "Big 5" so i guess it means back to back "Big 5" topics... this will be interesting."
Comment submitted by the Dreamer:
I should hope so ! hehe lol BOO! YOU really need to get out more your youth is just passing you by.
Response From Brian:
................... Nice to know that people care........
Comment Submitted by Marie:
Depression sucks. Unfortunately, it seems to be a widespread phenomenon in our society; nearly everyone you know has had it at one point or another. But for the few people who haven't fallen into the painful depths of utter despair it's a completely alien concept. From them you may just get a sincere hug and a "C'mon, be happy!" which just makes me feel more fucked up and not normal.
Ways I've dealt with it is therapy (years and years and goddamn *years* of that shit, including two years at an "emotional growth" therapeutic boarding school), exercise (Note that I say "excercise" and not "exorcise", which unfortunately takes more energy and more time than simply expelling the evil depression demons. That'd be pretty cool, though: one "Begone, demon!" and you're cured.), and self-mutilation (which DOES NOT work). Therapy works, I guess, at least at the beginning. Once you can spew the psychobabble back and know all the right answers that a shrink wants, it doesn't really work any more.
So I guess when you get to the point of disillusionment that I've reached you've just gotta take it day by day and make sure you have friends who know what you're going through and you can talk about things with. And medication. (Zoloft has been getting me through the day since elementary school and Ativan makes me high and giggly.)
Yup. So that's pretty much where I am now. Getting through life, backsliding occassionally, and not really giving a shit about stuff sometimes, like right now when I'm writing this during class instead of pay attention to the lecture. (Just in case you're wondering, the prof is discussing estatism or something, and the reading we were supposed to do (which, of course, I never read).) I think I'll wrap this up, leave class forty minutes early, and get something to eat.
Keep on truckin' or whatever. Later. :)
Response From Brian:
.....uh....wow....
well in all honesty, you're right.
For those who've never dealt with it, depression is an alien concept and it helps to have people who dealt with it themselves to act as a sound board, that's why whenever i'm sinking down to my low points, i start typing and send my friends an email with me just unloading, they read it and share their thoughts, tell stories of similar situations and offer advice or the one thing that just helps more than everything... they're just there, which to me is all i really need.
As for drugs, i tried Zoloft, made me really sick to my stomach and i never took them ever again, Now i know this next statment will make me appear as Tom Cruise Jr, but i don't believe in taking drugs... tomorrow i start jumping on couches.
Now thankfully i never got to the point where i felt like ending it all, i admit the thought had crossed my mind once but that was only cause some asshole who didn't like me was mind fucking with me and actually was trying to convince me to end it all when i was at a low point.
Thankfully and obviously, it didn't work.
When i'm low, i take it one day at a time, most days i'm really happy, others i'm really down, this past weekend... defintely sad, now i'm an 8 out of 10.
I learned above all else that i'm gonna keep trying everyday, i can't predict the future but i'll still keep going....
Labels: Echoes
posted by Marie at 7:55 AM
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