December 20, 2005

Holiday Controversy- what started TBF

Welcome to my last column of 2005, this is The Brian Factor...........(hold for applause)

Today the topic is: The Holiday Controversy

The story:

Since the beginning of this month the big deal for our country has been the use of "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas." Now I normally would offer my two cents on this here, but I'm holding off until the end for my two cents. So the government (namely the religious right) want no other holidays recognized by America except Christmas, and many radical groups have called for boycotts on stores that say "Happy Holidays" or "Season's Greetings." While many say "happy holidays" on the account that they don't know who celebrates what holiday and they don't want to offend anyone, they are judged for being open minded to other people's beliefs...

The reasoning:

Many of the right wings want to turn us into one united Christian front: a devoted group to Jesus and God and no one else. They feel that the only way we can achieve peace is to strip all that we are and basically follow the leader... So the first thing they want is to only celebrate Christmas as the "one true holiday," celebrating the birth of Jesus.......

My two cents:

What the fuck is wrong with these people!!!!!

Look, last time I checked, the original settlers of our land came here to get away from this exact thing. They didn't want to be told what to believe in or who's god was the right one; they came to live their lives without fear of persecution of their beliefs. I am a Christmas man but I also respect another man's beliefs if they're not my own. One of the great things about our country is that we have a rich diversity of people who aren't afraid of their heritage and proudly celebrate it, whatever it is.... Out in the world there are about six holidays this time of year: Christmas, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, Ramadan... and I forgot the rest, but the point is this: We all have different traditions, customs, beliefs that our families have upheld since before we were born, and you're saying that now we have to change that just because it's not what you do...... Who the fuck do you think you are!!!! I'm proud of my heritage, I'm proud of everyone who celebrates their customs and legacy with open arms. It's what makes us a great land and it's what the founding fathers fought and died for: a land for all of us to celebrate together. Almost every day this past weekend I've ended up at the mall and there I saw people thinking of others devoting the entire day for shopping for the ones they love. I even saw people shopping for people who celebrate different holidays, so I don't see what's the big deal. The important thing is that we are giving of ourselves and spending time with those who we love and that make us happy. Even when we were struck with great tragedy, we came together as a nation and did what was right. If we can work together to help others when they need it, then I'm sure that we can celebrate the good times together. It's only together that we can grow as a society.....................THANK YOU ALL AND .......HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!!!!!!!!

Until next.....year,


December 13, 2005

2005: What the Summer brings to Fall

With July fast approaching I was left in a tailspin. I was hurting and I didn't know what to do. Then out of nowhere I knew that I needed to take a break from things and head out to figure things out. But before that I first needed to figure out when to leave. Then I began becoming more and more invoved with one my friends. She and I had our moments in the past where we connected and we decided to see where it could lead to and slowly I was coming back and I started to really connect again with everything and I would honestly say my relationship was the one thing that really helped me focus on being happy. And soon I was; tensions eased and I began enjoying myself again but I knew I still needed to get away to figure some things out. And my girlfriend knew it too, so she told me to go and find whatever I was looking for.... So I left with my girl in my heart and a purpose to figure it all out to return a better man, not just for her but for me as well......

I first headed out to Phoenix where I'm always welcomed (except for the Spanish radio station where I'm banned 'cause I caused almost a grand in damages to a table with a soldering iron). There I met up with Derrick who always comes with great news; but this time was different.... One of the things I had hoped to do was to visit my father who I hadn't seen in years and attempt to reconnect with him and learn more of myself by learning where I come from... though, when I arrived, I found out that his past mistakes had come back to a haunt him and he was sent to a tent city in the middle of the desert the day before I left. I admit now I was disapointed since now I couldn't get the answers that I was looking for in the one person I knew had most of them. So I continued to enjoy the town and for the first time I was actually feeling like a 21-year-old: going out at night, being gone for hours reconnecting to the man I call "brother" and there I felt so good!!!! I wasn't thinking about anything, and the more I did the more everything made sense. The only thing that stayed on my mind was Sarah, who would call me and share her day and brightened mine a little more.

So, feeling refreshed and with some but not all of the answers yet, I headed even further south to Texas and I returned to my family's "official hometown" of McAllen, which is located towards the southern tip. There I just rested my mind and body and I just walked and enjoyed the wonders of my grandmother's good ol' home cookin'. What always makes McAllen great to
visit is that you always find your bearings there. As soon as I arrived I headed north to Austin to visit even more family and get out to see more of what's out in the world...... And being outside with so much room to think and wonder and soon after came my biggest surprise to date: meeting my older sister for the first time ever. I was so nervous and I didn't know what to expect, and we finally meet and I hugged her and I finally knew what it felt like to have a sister, something I always wanted as a child: to know what it was like to have more than a Mom and Dad. Then I knew right there; and in the course of three hours we talked and realized how much we were alike and it was then that I realized how little some of my issues were so I soon learned to let them go. and within time it all made sense. But I still couldn't put it in words-- even now I can't-- but there it was..... the spark! Everything that I was looking for: a purpose, hope, an understanding of family and love...... then I knew I was ready to go home, not knowing what still lay ahead as my first test.............

Read the conclusion of this story in 2005 Part 3: "The Fall of Winter"


December 12, 2005

2005: The Winter through the Spring

So, thanks to a complaint made by someone who didn't enjoy my two-parter column, the F.C.C. is cracking down on me and I now owe 1.5 million dollars to the government............. I'm kidding!!!!!!!!

No, thankfully no one complained about "the sex column"; in fact one of my FEMALE!! readers offered to do a course or a report on the importance/joys on foreplay..... Yeah i know, it surprised me too..... Wow!!! The things I start just by asking the questions you normally don't ask.......... But then again, I am Brian.... so, yeah, it fits.

I'm sure we all had a great year, maybe in some catagories more than others. I went into this year with no idea what to expect, I knew what I had going in but I never thought I would leave with so much more.... I am, of course, talking about the recent changes I've made in my life and the struggle it took to get there. During the beginning of this year I had a handle on my depression and I, like all of us, had some general things to bitch about: traffic to work, work, friends and relationships, family.....the everyday stuff we always deal with. And that was my life for a good three or four months. Then around spring I became more and more stressed out. I wasn't doing anything different, my workload was the same, but I just was becoming more and more out of it and soon I honestly didn't give a shit. I hated my job, the column, having to deal with friends who were always in a jam and needed my advice or help to fix everything. I felt so overwhelmed that I was looking for a reason everyday to walk out on my job or anything else. And I know when we all think self-destructive behavior we think drugs and booze. but it's also you wanting to destroy everything you've ever worked for, everything and everyone who depends on you. You'd break promises, and you're at the point of just doing anything to show that you don't give a fuck what they want, need, or think. You get desperate, and you would tear heaven and earth apart if it means you can just be alone to breathe for five minutes........ And by the summer that's where I was... broken, confused, and hurting..................

The story continues in 2005 Part 2: "What the Summer Brings to Fall"


December 01, 2005

How to shop for your man

Greetings to all and welcome back to another edition of the "the B Factor" ( it's a working title at the moment, if you've got better ideas, please let me know.)

So last year around this time I wrote a column that gave an insight into the male mind to help all women shop for their man and not find last year's gift in the closet still with the wrapping paper on it.

And by popular demand I continue this tradition today. Here we go....

It's safe to say that, no matter what, guys are big kids, and we always have our toys. They just get bigger. Instead of a toy sportscar we'll get a real one; the Gameboys become cell phones; stereos become iPods; sodas become wines, and the list goes on and on. And you know we're using them when we shouldn't. I mean, sure, we'll make that multi-million deal on a conference call using our cell then afterwards we're back on our cell playing blackjack and being up 20 bucks. I mean all the electronics and flashy cars in the world were desinged for big kids by big kids. and I should know... usually on my weekends I'm at home playing Gamecube, and during the day at work I'm listening to my iPod, and if i'm bored at lunch I play blackjack on my cell phone. I admit guys love to have fun. So why fight it? You being supportive of this will actually make your guy brag to all their friends about what's already true: that they've got the best girlfriend/wife in the world. I mean, they'll actually shout it off the rooftops on how much they love you for this. (And I've seen it too.) And if your man's happy he'll show it back with anything you want--anything!!! Mainly cause he's both thankful and he knows why it's good to stay on your good side.

And that's a very good thing. Give it a shot this year and you may all have a very merry Christmas!!!!!!

Any questions, comments, death threats, send 'em my way, don't be shy.

Until next time,