Unhindered: Weddings

I've slacked off the last few weeks. First, I didn't write because I was so burnt out from the marathon last-minute campaigning, and then I didn't write last week because of a wedding I attended Saturday. I was a bridesmaid. With 3-inch high-heel, red, ruffley, peep-toe shoes with little bows across the toes. I didn't trip or stumble, but-ye gods!-the pain! Took me several days to recover from the 10 a.m. to 10 p.m. day.

I'm not a fan of large weddings. Haven't been for a long time: first because of theory, now because of experience.

Seriously, is a big, lavish wedding worth beginning your married life in debt? So many young couples spend hundreds of thousands of dollars (thank you credit cards) on weddings, and it takes years or decades to pay some of these things off.

Here's a press release on the topic: Bridal Spending Has Increased 100% Over Last 15 Years: 'American Wedding Study 2006' Reveals Average Wedding Now Tops $27,000

Here's an alternative I ran across yesterday: Our 10-11-08 Crafty Fall Wedding. The bride used a lot of money-saving DIY stuff by making decorations, and customizing dresses. (And the groom and groomsmen wore camo vests and ties, which is original but a little strange, I think.)

During the pre-wedding storm and after the event itself, Curtis and I (who have been together just a few months longer than our newly-married friends) have discussed what we want for our wedding, which will first be delayed until we are both steadily employed and have saved up enough money to get a decent place to live. First, the ceremony will be our close family and our handful of close-enough-to-be-considered-family friends. Second, the ceremony and/or reception will be somewhere relatively casual (read: inexpensive) and limited to a reasonable number of guests. Third: no high heels! I promise that if I have bridesmaids they won't have to shell out several hundred dollars of their own money for matching dresses.

Okay, that third item is something I haven't actually discussed with Curtis, but I don't think he'd mind. After all, I'll let him wear tie-dye under his tux jacket if he wants. (And I take back my comment about the strangeness of camouflage in the above wedding.)

Unhindered: Anarchy

anarchy |ˈanərkē|
noun
a state of disorder due to absence or nonrecognition of authority;
absence of government and absolute freedom of the individual, regarded as a political ideal.

---

Lemme go off on a rant here. You think that anarchy is cool? Well, you'd better be pretty handy at foraging for food and beating off attackers with a stick.

Anarchy is a lack of government. A lack of laws. No presidents, no senators, no economy, no police, no schools, no doctors. There are no rules, and you are on your own. It would, ultimately, be a free-for-all chaotic state of nature.

There would be no check on people's behavior. A serial killer could go around killing and you would have to hope some vigilante would eventually take him out- but you would have no guarantees that you would be safe yourself from that same vigilante. (For that matter, there would be no vigilante, for that term implies that there are laws and ineffective law enforcement; just another on-the-loose killer.) There would be looting, rapes, and disease wiping out thousands because there would be no CDC to quarantine or manufacture medicines. No more mass production of food, clothing, newspapers, gasoline, or shelters. Electricity would stop eventually, followed by the cessation of the electric pumps that pipe water into our homes.

Sure, there will be groups of people who band together to form some sorts of communities, but that would be the end of anarchy. Individuals giving up freedoms for protection is what government is, which negates the concept of anarchy. So, you people who argue that anarchy is the "natural order" of things are wrong: sane, reasonable human beings will always form alliances and make contracts to increase their chances of survival. Even if those contracts are as simple as "You will watch out for danger while I pick these berries."

Seriously, I find any anarchist who has actually thought in depth about what the long-term effects of anarchy would be and still persists in wanting society to disintegrate into chaos to be insane; a maniac who wants to run around smashing windows with rocks, eat all the Doritos off a store's shelf, and defecate in the middle of Main Street.

And all you so-called "anarchists" who meet to discuss the Eden of a lawless world? You are hypocrites. "Anarchy Club meeting: 9 pm at Revolution Cafe" is oxy-moronic. You cannot plan anarchy- for planning implies interpersonal contracts and hierarchy with doled out responsibilities: Bob makes the flyers, Theresa makes the cafe reservation, etc. There is no chaos is planning.

Therefore, true anarchy has to be spontaneous. And, thank god, it is therefore unlikely.

Religion and Feminism

Let me draw your attention to this: Buffy the Vampire Slayer slaying church attendance among women. Initially, it made me laugh. But I thought and realized that if it is true, I would consider it to be a step in the right direction.

Dr Aune says the church must adapt to the needs of modern women if it is to stop them leaving in their droves.

She believes many women have been put off going to church in recent years because of the influence of feminism, which challenged the traditional Christian view of women's roles and raised their aspirations.

Her report claims they feel forced out of the church because of its "silence" about sexual desire and activity, and because of its hostility to single-parent families and unmarried couples which are now a reality for many women.

Pretty much all of the major religions repress women either overtly or implicitly. The obvious: Islam. Even the modern, more secular variations do not give equality to all genders and sexualities; I'm not talking about the segregation of men and women, but the availability of leadership positions with comparable prestige and power.

The Roman Catholic church is also another good example. While they do not loudly preach the inferiority of women, it is a recurring theme in the Christian faith: Eve tempted Adam. Salome demanded John the Baptist's head. Mary is the most prominent Biblical female figure, and she was modest and devout and unsullied by man at the time of the miracle. Mary Magdalene was a former whore who loved Jesus at least as much as his 12 male disciples, but she's been eclipsed by men in power over the centuries.

Now, I'm an agnostic, not a pagan or Wiccan. But I can see the lure for women to gravitate toward religions where the Mother is the god figure. That concept makes much more sense to me than the "old bearded guy in the sky" concept. I'm just saying that I'm not personally gonna go around worshiping the almighty Womb. Those are ancient traditions where females have equal or greater standing than males. And what woman can argue her intrinsic inferiority to men? Females make up half the natural world- at least the part that can be divided into dual sexes.

Beside the woman empowerment aspect of paganism, in these times if more people choose to subscribe to a nature-based belief system so much the better. We need more Earth-conscious people.

~Marie

Unhindered: What's on my mind

It's been two weeks. And here I am with nothing much on my mind- except for the bladed pendulum lowering millimeter by millimeter toward my chest (i.e. the big "what I'm going to do with my life" decision).

Honestly, I haven't been coping with it all that well. I try to avoid thinking about it. That whole ostrich-head-in-the-sand thing? Me. But despite my avoidance of the issue, my uncertain future is still kicking me in the ass.

Remember my whole chronic anxiety disorder thing? That I've been on medication for since elementary school? It's kicking in as it hasn't for years. I wake up and feel anxious. I consider doing stuff and I feel anxious. I think about making myself lunch and I feel anxious. Lately, even thinking about talking to my friends makes me anxious. Suddenly, I have this whole social phobia thing starting. My appetite comes and goes, and I have more days with mini panic attacks than without.

I guess I must seem to hold it together pretty well. And honestly, I'm not in despair 24/7. But lately I've gone back to my old thoughts that maybe I won't be able to cope with life. Since eighth grade I've amended this belief into understanding that I won't ever be able to cope with life like most people do, and I thought I had accepted that. But I'm almost 24 and reality has been pressing down hard in the past six months, and I'm panicking at the looming box my whole life is supposed to be caged in and defined by: job, bills, responsibility. Because it's time. I'm supposed to be an adult. I'm supposed to be independent. And I'm still dysfunctional and limited and fucking terrified.

Well, this turned out to be a more personal blog entry than I (and probably most of you) wanted it to be. Yup, I'm a basket case, and now it's out there for anyone to read. And the people who I talk to and read this are probably going to be concerned and supportive. Which is something that mortifies and uneases me. (Which is why I tend to hide this shit in the first place.) But I guess I need to "let people in and care about me" and all that stuff that therapists have been telling me for the majority of my life. Guys, don't take it personally that I never tell you how hard it gets; it's because if you do know then you will keep bringing up the subject (out of concern) and I will be forced to own up to it and face it. Which is what true friends are supposed to do if someone's behavior is harming themselves (hey, I've told plenty of my friends to stop drinking/smoking/cutting/lying/fucking because it was affecting their lives in a negative way). Perhaps I wouldn't mind if it was some habit with outside influence. But I'm battling with my mind and emotions. If my dearest friends gather and confront me with "Godammit, Marie! You can't just try to hide from life anymore!" it would be different than a drug intervention, 'cause the demons I have are fear and expectations and the monkey on my back is my anxiety. I am my own worst enemy and I am responsible for the shit that's wrong with me; I'm scared that if you know that and see how bad it is that you'll see how sick and wrong and unworthy I am. That is just one of those irrational fears that I have, and as much as I understand that it is irrational, that belief isn't going away any time soon.

Alright, I'm ending this week's editorial here. Feel free to comment about me, friendship, or the human condition in general; I can't promise that I'll respond in Echoes, (since I'm still stuck without wireless) but I will read your responses eventually. Thanks for putting up with my self-indulgence.

Old News is all I've got

Yeah, we got work to do. That's why I'm sitting (in a chair *grumble*) and typing this on Curtis' strange ergonomic keyboard. And Curtis is torturing me by making me sit up straight and having both feet dangling instead of having one foot comfortably tucked up under my other thigh.

Seriously, I can't work like this.

And you know why I'm sitting upright in a swivel chair? My laptop's wireless card isn't working. I'm back in the computer technology equivalent of the bronze age. Because the only way my computer can connect to the NEt is with an Ethernet cable.

So, yeah, I haven't been online much. I've pretty much been doing less geeky things like watching movies and playing Tomb Raider Anniversary and Final Fantasy X-2 on the PlayStation. And playing a couple of those dinner party murder-mystery games with a bunch of people.

Between the laptop situation and the storms the last week or two, nothing has really been going on. Oh, wait---

**NEWSFLASH**

I just now got the hiccups. Stay tuned for more developments in this story.

Yep, that's how exciting life has been for me.

Now, normally I'd write this stuff in my normal blog, but I hadn't written anything for TBF. And since I don't have a really good excuse to get me out of writing something for this week, I'm stuck rambling on about inconsequential minutiae. I'm basically ignorant of the current news, so there's no heated controversy that I can opine about. So let's go on to old news that I haven't addressed in this or ICTH (my personal blog):

The Death of Benazir Bhutto
The assassination of Pakistan's former Prime Minister is a world tragedy. She was the only woman to make it that high in an Islamic government. She was dedicated to resolving Pakistan's inter-party conflicts and vocal against extremist violence. For a religion that has such an anti-woman tradition (though the fanaticism of Islam's patrimonial dogma varies between cultures and countries), Bhutto being elected Prime Minister at all (let alone twice) is pretty amazing.

The State Primaries
I don't care about these too much. I'm disillusioned with the whole national political system. I want the conservative, uber-Evangelical Republicans booted out of the White House. I'm not too excited about either Clinton or Obama, except for the fact that this is the first presidential election in which a woman and a non-WASP male (besides Kennedy, who was the only Catholic US prez) have made it so far. I would preferably vote for some independent or minor party candidate (not that I know who is running, because of this blasted false-dichotomy bipartisan system), but in this particular election a non-Demo/Repub vote is essentially throwing your vote away. If I want my vote to actually count, I'm forced to side with one of two evils. And voting for the lesser of two evils is still a vote for evil. But if voting for a Democrat is what it takes to curtail the irresponsible, Jesus-centric, "What the heck is diplomacy?" right-wing Repubs, then I'm voting Democrat, so it doesn't really matter to me who the candidate is. (Though I was particularly impressed with Mike Gravel (D-AK) when he was interviewed on the McLehrer News Hour. He actually had plans to withdraw from Iraq and wanted to change foreign policy to emphasize diplomacy. Plus, I just got a good vibe.)

The Latest Britney Meltdown
I dunno what happened. I don't care. I just get disgusted by the paparazzi who are interviewed on those entertainment "news" programs who familiarly refer to the celebrities they are stalking by their first names. Speaking of the lesser of two evils, is "K-Fed" really much more of an improvement in a sole parental figure than Britney?

The Writers' Strike
I like the writers. ("'Til Death" isn't all that great, but "Heroes"... hell, yeah!) I'm kinda happy about the strike; hopefully fewer families are sitting around staring at the TV at nights instead of interacting with their children. And I think it's great that the late night show guys are having to write more of their material again. Apparently, they used to be funny all on their own; so let's see if they've still got the talent. And the Comedy Central "news" programs have picked up again as well. Colbert's return was especially great.

Alright. That's all I've got. So now you know why the poll hasn't been changed and why I'm late posting Brian's Soundboards. (Maybe this will convince Brian to get a Blogger account and post things himself.) See ya'll in a couple weeks.

Unhindered: Comedians

Let's lighten things up today and talk about a unique group of people who challenge the status quo, culture, biases, and hegemony.

Don't be scared off! I'm talking about comedians!

You've probably already noticed that stand-up comics have the unique role of making us think and laugh. The really good comedians don't stand up on stage and say "poop poop poop" to make us laugh- they point out discrepancies in our ways of thinking.



They bring up social issues that are usually too painful to think about. They don't use politically correct language to pussyfoot around feelings- they make us face our differences, realize that people can act similar according to gender, race, class, and make us laugh at ourselves. There are great tragedies in being human; comedians help us laugh to balance out our crying.

Pol Pot killed 1.7 million people. We can't even deal with that. I think we think that if somebody kills someone, that's murder, you go to prison. You kill 10 people, you go to Texas, they hit you with a brick, that's what they do. 20 people, you go to a hospital, they look through a small window at you forever. And over that we can't deal with it. You know? Someone who's killed a hundred thousand people, we're almost going... "Well done! Well done! You killed a hundred thousand people? You must get up very early in the morning! I can't even get down to the gym! Your diary must look odd: 'Get up in the morning, death, death, death, death, death, death, lunch. Death, death, death, afternoon tea. Death, death, death, quick shower.' -Eddie Izzard, Dress to Kill

Comedy is also a form of protest. We joke about politicians, celebrities, criminals; religion, comsumerism, welfare. All the good and funny comics are liberals mocking tradition and making us think about things we often ignore or take for granted. George Carlin pronounces that religion is the greatest bullshit story. Nick Swardson claims that old people will have no dignity when they listen to rap music. George Lopez talks about growing up in a Mexican-American family. Paula Poundstone finds amusement in her struggle with alcoholism.

So next time you watch a comedian, stand up and clap a little louder in thanks.

(I'm always adding comedy clips to this playlist: Stand Up)

Unhindered: Living in a Litigious Society

Living in a Litigious Society

For those who may be unclear, “litigious” refers to the word “litigation” which is essentially a lawsuit. So when I say that our society is litigious I mean that the plastic lids that go on Styrofoam coffee cups have the legend: "Warning! Contents may be hot!", stores have those bright yellow "CAUTION Wet Floor/CUIDADO Piso Mojado" signs, plastic containers have stickers with sketches of babies suffocating, and there’s little red writing on plastic bags saying "NOT A TOY."

I look at these and say, "Well, duh!" Hopefully, you look at these and say, "Well, duh!" too. But the mere existence of these disclaimers is an indication of a sickness in our society. Perhaps some people do not think "Well, duh!" and instead decide that it’s a dandy idea to stand on the very top of a ladder (that "Not A Step") and forget that the cup of hot coffee tucked in their crotch while they are driving is… well… hot.

Personally, those people could break their necks and scald their gonads and I wouldn’t be too sorry. Might do the human race some good to weed out those absent-minded idiots.

But there is a bigger danger than morons — the lawsuit-happy "victims" of negligence. And, of course, there are also sleazy lawyers, though I’m not sure whether they are morally better or worse than those "victims."

Let’s start with what could very well be a justified case. Mrs. Eugenia Smith, an 83-year-old war widow, fell and broke her hip on the front steps of the public library after checking out her weekly ration of knitting pattern books and Cat Fancy magazines. Being on a fixed income, she can’t afford the outrageous medical bills (damn American health system… I’ll probably rant on that sometime later this season) or the live-in nurse/companion that she’ll need to hire to take care of her while she recuperates. Her lawyer--in this instance a nice old-fashioned banjo-playing Matlock-y sort—urges her to sue the city for damages. "After all," he reasons, "They were responsible for removing the ice from the steps so that upstanding war widows like yourself wouldn’t slip and nearly be killed. The least they can do to make up for their negligence is to pay you enough money to cover the bills." The judge rules in favor of the kindly old woman, and the city funds are down by several million.

Now let’s pick that apart.

In my opinion, the library should have removed the ice. But it wasn’t their fault that rickety Mrs. Smith fell and broke a hip. Because of her unfortunate financial circumstances, the city should take the moral responsibility of helping her out with her bills. Unfortunately, the city cannot be relied upon to offer to do the right thing in helping Mrs. Smith out, so that’s where the courts come into the equation. Just as unfortunately, Mrs. Smith needed a mediator to deal with the judicial courts, and that’s where Matlock comes in… and goes out with a sizable monetary compensation for his skills in his pocket.

Who wins? Not Mrs. Smith—she is in tremendous pain, and full recovery at her age is hardly a given. Not the city library—they are down a few million dollars. Matlock wins, damn him. And he wasn’t even involved in the original incident!

Seen from the perspective of Mrs. Smith, the litigation system can be seen as a good thing, something that is there to help her out when unfortunate things happen. It’s a rather comforting thought for all of us; if the FDA releases a drug they say is safe but ends up causing strokes in 3% of its users, it’s nice to know that responsibility and blame will be doled out somehow and the victims given some sort of token compensation. But, as with everything, a few rotten apples will spoil the whole deal.

I’m talking about the career victims, people who decide that it’s easier suing company after company to get money rather than making an honest living.

Remember the Wendy’s finger fiasco? The "victim" Anna Ayala was found to have "a litigious history," having filed claims against other companies. She and her boyfriend staged the whole thing.

What happened to good, ol’-fashioned honesty and integrity?

Believe me, I am a big fan of getting something for nothing. I’m not even on a fixed income like Mrs. Smith. I’m on no income, mooching-off-my-family-and-friends-until-I-finally-buckle-down-and-get-a-real-job and buying little luxuries with the 500 bucks still left in my bank account from my high school graduation money (which was over five years ago--I’m quite thrifty). I’ve filled out those “Win a New Car!” slips at the mall. I’ve joined mailing lists for a chance to win a PS3. But I wouldn’t stoop to robbing anybody via the judicial branch.

If an accident due to negligence were to occur and cause bodily harm to myself, I probably would sue. But unless there were cruel and unusual circumstances, I would tell my lawyer to screw the part about repayment for “psychological damages.” Barring the occasional circus incident resulting in injury (which may involve a bunch of clowns that causes a debilitating phobia for the victim), I think that psychological damage is just an excuse for more money.

Now, don’t think that I am against dishonest litigation because of the corporations that have to fork over money. (Oh, yes, the poor, poor multi-national corporations!) They could stand to lose a few billion; there’d be fewer Wal-Marts and Blockbusters, but I can live with that. It’s the greedy corruption among the common people that makes me mad. I’m not a fan of anyone who lies or exaggerates for personal gain at the expense of anyone else. Those people who fake neck injuries to profit from car accidents are sick. You want to talk about psychological damage…. If someone claimed they were severely hurt because of me, I would cry at hurting another human being. And they would take my money and laugh at me for being a sucker who would have to subsist solely on ramen for the next ten years. Once I found out that they borrowed that neck brace from their great-aunt who had really gotten whiplash… I’d get angry and then depressed at the callousness of the human race. I would find it difficult to recapture my Anne Frank-ish belief that mankind is basically good. Then I might just become misanthropic, and that would be ironic and hypocritical because of my sociology degree. And I hate being hypocritical.

I would appreciate any comments or opinions you have on this topic. Just go to here and click on the “Post a Comment” link to let me know, or email me at thebrianfactormailbox@yahoo.com.

Thanks for reading this!

~Marie

Intro to 'Mariedom'

Okay, so first off, I didn’t come up with that column title “Marie-dom.” I guess it’s supposed to be a pun of “freedom,” but I don’t think it works that well; it gives me a mental picture of myself dressed in black leather and wielding a cat o’ nine. (And while that image may excite some people, I am totally not like that.) But because I have a long history of being bad at naming things (my favorite childhood stuffed bear was named “Bear”) the title’s gonna have to stick until the unlikely event that I come up with something better or get an awesome suggestion from some of you folks.

I was planning on kicking this column off by simply jumping in on some specific topic. Then I thought that maybe you would all like to know where I’m coming from. Then I figured that if you guys really wanted to know you could check out the links to my MySpace page and my blog Insert Catchy Title Here. (See? I suck at naming things!) Then the Boss said that everybody with new columns was just going to introduce themselves this week.

Well, I’m not new. I’ve been posting Brian’s writings on TBF blog for a long time now, as well as doing the Editor’s/Archiver’s Notes, and making those little maroon comments that usually poke fun at Brian. If you’ve been on the mailing lists for the last couple years, I was the person that wrote in those really long responses for Echoes. Yes. I am that Marie.

And now you’re thinking, “Damn! I ain’t planning on reading to a whole page of shit every other week!” Which I totally understand, because I’ve been through college (doing the minimum amount of reading that I could get away with) and I myself sometimes end up just scanning through some of what Brian writes.

Let me reassure you: I don’t think I’ll be posting three pages every single time. I’m rarely long-winded on my usual blog. And when my essays do run long, I promise I’ll do my best to make frequent jokes and be funny.

So. About me.... I'm currently 23. I'll be finished with my sociology B.A. in November. I like science fiction, action movies, and video games. For the past few months I've been dragging my heels and reluctantly searching for a job. My boyfriend Curtis and I have been together for over four years. I'm an agnostic. I believe in human equality and universal fair treatment. I prefer cool colors over warm ones and cool weather over hot temperatures. I don't do drugs, and drink very rarely. I like animals and kids. I hate to cook, but I like to write.

…And that's all anybody needs to know right now. Or at least all I'm willing to tell people tonight. I'm rather tired. If you ever want to read more written by or about me, you have only to click either of the links above.

~Marie

State of the Factor Address

Bi-Annual State of the Factor Address

Good Day to you all,

I'd like to welcome you all to the bi-annual... (Ha ha ha! 'Bi') State of the Factor Address, Okay first off:

We pissed a lot of people off this past year and we're expecting to piss off a whole lot more. Here is a list of some of the people/organizations that we expect to piss off this year.... (Breathing Deeply)

- White People
- Black People
- Hispanics
- Asians
- Astrologists
- The City of Berkeley, CA
- The NAACP
- The ACLU
- The NRA
- Mimes
- PETA
- Greenpeace
- The National Organization of Women
- The State of Texas
- Doctors
- Lawyers
- The People that put cheese in the crust
- Big Tobacco
- CBS, Fox, ABC, Pretty much all major networks.

and oh yeah some Priests... and their Gods.


Secondly:

As usual where we really made the money this year was in (same as everybody else) Arms Sales!

Yup, who knew Canada had it in them???

Also side note: We're not taking any sides in the upcoming war between Oprah and Rachel Ray. If they want to fight each for the right to claim World Domination, that's their thing. Our job is just to sell them guns. Sorry if that adds some confusion, but I just wanted to clear the air.

Oh, and we're starting a new area this year: Opium

Yup, turns out that people are just nuts about it, they can't stop talking about it, so let's put some focus on that this year.

Thirdly:

After enough time away I've finally got the schedule just how I like it... So with out further ado.. here's how it going to go:

MONDAY: "Marie-dom" (Bi-Weekly)

TUESDAY: "Lady Temptress: Sex-ucation" (Tri-Weekly)

WEDNESDAY: "Brian's Song" (Weekly)

THURSDAY: "T.K.O./Love: [The emotional roller coaster] (Bi-Weekly)

FRIDAY: "The Brian Factor/ Echoes of The Factor" (Alternating Fridays)


...Good thing we didn't make this schedule complicated...

So in closing I just want to say that I know we're doing a great job and I hope that we just keep giving our best each and every time. cause remember: "our goal is to get the people to speak their minds!!"

So that about does it for the address, if you have any questions at all... well... tough shit. you're welcome to free cookies and milk in the conference room and our new lineup kicks off on

MONDAY OCTOBER 8th

Until Next Time,
-B