State of the Factor Address

Bi-Annual State of the Factor Address

Good Day to you all,

I'd like to welcome you all to the bi-annual... (Ha ha ha! 'Bi') State of the Factor Address, Okay first off:

We pissed a lot of people off this past year and we're expecting to piss off a whole lot more. Here is a list of some of the people/organizations that we expect to piss off this year.... (Breathing Deeply)

- White People
- Black People
- Hispanics
- Asians
- Astrologists
- The City of Berkeley, CA
- The NAACP
- The ACLU
- The NRA
- Mimes
- PETA
- Greenpeace
- The National Organization of Women
- The State of Texas
- Doctors
- Lawyers
- The People that put cheese in the crust
- Big Tobacco
- CBS, Fox, ABC, Pretty much all major networks.

and oh yeah some Priests... and their Gods.


Secondly:

As usual where we really made the money this year was in (same as everybody else) Arms Sales!

Yup, who knew Canada had it in them???

Also side note: We're not taking any sides in the upcoming war between Oprah and Rachel Ray. If they want to fight each for the right to claim World Domination, that's their thing. Our job is just to sell them guns. Sorry if that adds some confusion, but I just wanted to clear the air.

Oh, and we're starting a new area this year: Opium

Yup, turns out that people are just nuts about it, they can't stop talking about it, so let's put some focus on that this year.

Thirdly:

After enough time away I've finally got the schedule just how I like it... So with out further ado.. here's how it going to go:

MONDAY: "Marie-dom" (Bi-Weekly)

TUESDAY: "Lady Temptress: Sex-ucation" (Tri-Weekly)

WEDNESDAY: "Brian's Song" (Weekly)

THURSDAY: "T.K.O./Love: [The emotional roller coaster] (Bi-Weekly)

FRIDAY: "The Brian Factor/ Echoes of The Factor" (Alternating Fridays)


...Good thing we didn't make this schedule complicated...

So in closing I just want to say that I know we're doing a great job and I hope that we just keep giving our best each and every time. cause remember: "our goal is to get the people to speak their minds!!"

So that about does it for the address, if you have any questions at all... well... tough shit. you're welcome to free cookies and milk in the conference room and our new lineup kicks off on

MONDAY OCTOBER 8th

Until Next Time,
-B