Soundboard - 09/29/07

"A Quiet Night At Last"

So who knew maintaining two separate lives was a bitch??

So after working day and night for the past month, I'm finally enjoying a little down time and living the night all to myself...woo!!!

[Marie: For a second there, I thought you wrote "wool!!"]

The house is all mine this weekend and I'm just kicking back and enjoying every minute of it... and now I'm bored.

So to help cope with my new found boredom (cause "loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix") I thought about giving all of you an update of my recent activities.

First off, without question one of my favorite things I got to do this past week was being able to hang out with Marie and Curtis last week and, I've got to tell you, we had fun. We had dinner a couple times and checked out the new "Resident Evil" film (not bad, by the way) plus I gave Curtis a new nickname: "Roi de Crepe" which is just "Pancake King" in french... But still funny; Curtis laughed and Marie gave me the "Death eyes" for the 23rd time this year.

So after all that fun, I found myself in debate as to what I should talk about this year. I can't say what topics came up in conversation but I have a good 15 topics on hand, so we're pretty well covered and even Marie was impressed by the list. (And you know I'm serious cause I could have just said something raunchy like "Marie was so excited she got turned on and slid out of her chair.")

[Marie: Next time, just don't. This site address is on my resume, you know.]

Which reminds me, I got another invitation to a "Sexual Harassment Seminar" Apparently someone named "Eiram" keep signing me up for one, but thankfully they aren't mandatory so I've skipped the last 4 meetings.

[Marie: C'mon. I'd be a little more creative with the alias. Once you start seeing our Constitutional rights lawyer Agnes Flipbottom's name on the referral then you'll know it's me.]

But nothing lasts forever (well nothing good anyway). I got about two weeks of vacation left before we're back in action and I realized that if all goes well, I'm gonna have no sleep for the next 9 months. Oy.

[Marie: Wow. What an opportunity for a metaphor: your opus (so to speak) requiring nine months of gestation. The only flaw is that you being pregnant is not a pretty picture.]

Oh well, that's next month and right now I'm focusing on me, right now, barefoot and bored.

[Marie: If you were really focusing on yourself, than my name mentioned several times wouldn't have been an invitation for my fantastically witty comments.]

Well Until Next Time,
-B

State of the Factor Address

Bi-Annual State of the Factor Address

Good Day to you all,

I'd like to welcome you all to the bi-annual... (Ha ha ha! 'Bi') State of the Factor Address, Okay first off:

We pissed a lot of people off this past year and we're expecting to piss off a whole lot more. Here is a list of some of the people/organizations that we expect to piss off this year.... (Breathing Deeply)

- White People
- Black People
- Hispanics
- Asians
- Astrologists
- The City of Berkeley, CA
- The NAACP
- The ACLU
- The NRA
- Mimes
- PETA
- Greenpeace
- The National Organization of Women
- The State of Texas
- Doctors
- Lawyers
- The People that put cheese in the crust
- Big Tobacco
- CBS, Fox, ABC, Pretty much all major networks.

and oh yeah some Priests... and their Gods.


Secondly:

As usual where we really made the money this year was in (same as everybody else) Arms Sales!

Yup, who knew Canada had it in them???

Also side note: We're not taking any sides in the upcoming war between Oprah and Rachel Ray. If they want to fight each for the right to claim World Domination, that's their thing. Our job is just to sell them guns. Sorry if that adds some confusion, but I just wanted to clear the air.

Oh, and we're starting a new area this year: Opium

Yup, turns out that people are just nuts about it, they can't stop talking about it, so let's put some focus on that this year.

Thirdly:

After enough time away I've finally got the schedule just how I like it... So with out further ado.. here's how it going to go:

MONDAY: "Marie-dom" (Bi-Weekly)

TUESDAY: "Lady Temptress: Sex-ucation" (Tri-Weekly)

WEDNESDAY: "Brian's Song" (Weekly)

THURSDAY: "T.K.O./Love: [The emotional roller coaster] (Bi-Weekly)

FRIDAY: "The Brian Factor/ Echoes of The Factor" (Alternating Fridays)


...Good thing we didn't make this schedule complicated...

So in closing I just want to say that I know we're doing a great job and I hope that we just keep giving our best each and every time. cause remember: "our goal is to get the people to speak their minds!!"

So that about does it for the address, if you have any questions at all... well... tough shit. you're welcome to free cookies and milk in the conference room and our new lineup kicks off on

MONDAY OCTOBER 8th

Until Next Time,
-B

NIN-The Great Destroyer

In This Twilight

Soundboard - 09/05/07

As I've mentioned a week ago, I've hired two new writers to join TBF: Lady Temptress and Angel. The final schedule is being finished and more details will be coming in the later weeks. In the meantime I've asked the ladies to provide a summary of what we can expect from them this season... So ladies take it away.

First up, here's Angel..

T.K.O.
Love: [The emotional roller coaster]

TBF Premiere: 10/11/07

Let me begin by introducing my self. I am Angel, I have joined TBF and I hope to entertain with my writing. I will be writing about relationships in general. I am married with kids and pretty much have been through some of the toughest trials you can go through in a relationship (which I guess would make me some what of an expert to a point, since now a days
marriages last what, 2 years, or in Hollywood one day). I will randomly pick out a topic and write about it based on my personal experiences and those of my friends that have trusted me to never tell no one (that is right people that know me, I am letting out all of your business [of course I will not mention names]). I hope that my column is both entertaining and useful as everyone loves reading about other peoples lives. In general I hope that readers will start having a more input as to all issues discussed. Feel free to respond to anything that I talk about. Comments are welcome, and encouraged, let me know what things you readers are most interested in. I will be talking about how stupid, careless, stubborn (you get the picture) men can be, sorry I am a woman and will be writing as to a woman's point of view, if you don't like what I have to say then have Brian hire a man to talk about a man's point of view on relationships, that would be interesting. Anyways, I look forward to sharing my thoughts and views with everyone, trust me this will be like therapy to me. (See honey, I don’t need a psychiatrist after all, I can just vent in my column!)

If you have any comments or questions feel free to contact me at laangel1727@yahoo.com

Coming soon,

Angel
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And finally we'll hear from Lady Temptress...

Lady Temptress: Sexucation

TBF Premiere: 10/09/07

Salutations! I am Lady Temptress. I have joined TBF in hopes of some well needed SEX talk and education! Oh yeah baby! I have learned over the years that I have become somewhat of a Sex-pert!

What I write, will be from experience and what I’m still learning! Sex is an ongoing education of fun, excitement and most of all an orgasmic experience! I will talk about random acts of shyness in bed to becoming Jenna Jameson, or for you men the next best thing to John Holmes! (Before he died!! LOL)

I started talking about sex at a fairly young age. Friends would ask me questions from how do I give a blow job or how does it feel to have been eaten! (Ladies you know what I mean, and for you men who don't know... Eating the va-jay-jay! Oh yeah I'm going there) Before I even lost my virginity, I was able to give some pretty damn good advice! I strongly believe in my past life I was a teacher of sex!

Comments and questions are very much appreciated and welcomed, so don't be scared to ask questions, trust me I have heard it all and probably done it all as well!!! For questions that you would like to keep private, please email me at ladytempresstbf@yahoo.com

The One, The Only, Sultry Lady Temptress

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There is also something in the works for Marie, but plans have yet to be finalized so we'll keep you posted on that.

Until Next Time,
-B

Soundboard - 09/04/07

101207

1012 07

10 12 07

10/12/07


..........see you soon.........