March 23, 2007

TBF: Reflection

QUESTION!
By System Of A Down

Sweet berries ready for two,
Ghosts are no different than you,
Ghosts are now waiting for you,
Are you?

Sweet berries ready for two,
Ghosts are no different than you.
Ghosts are now waiting for you,
Are you dreaming?

Dreaming the night...
Dreaming all right...

Do we, do we know
When we fly
When we, when we go
Do we die

Sweet berries ready for two,
Ghosts are no different than you.
Ghosts are now waiting for you,
Are you?

Sweet berries ready for two,
Ghosts are no different than you.
Ghosts are now waiting for you,
Are you dreaming?

Dreaming the night...
Dreaming all right...

Do we, do we know
When we fly
When we, when we go
Do we die

Do we, do we know
When we fly
When we, when we go
Do we die

I haven't really been myself this week, in fact if I had to describe it I'd say that I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, mostly about myself, my past, my future, even where I am now.

It's all this.. I don't even know how to describe it. A lot of people have been pushing me to figure out my plans for tomorrow, and I honestly just can't give anyone, especially myself an answer. I've just really been out of it this past week, I haven't been sleeping much and I find myself trying to isolate myself more and more. The funny thing is that I don't feel sad, I don't feel depressed and I'm still in this weird phase.

How do you describe a dream? How do you find what it is you're looking for? What am I suppose to do? What do I really want?

I just.. I wonder if I've made or making the right choices? I've lived clean but for my reasons and I know that they're justified reasons and I wouldn't change now but I really wonder if I didn't screw up my chances for something more normal.

Concepts of mortality, never ending debates. Such have become my company this week, unwanted guests that never leave and cause more havoc than relief. I worry that I'm forgetting why I am who I am.

So why now? Was there a reason for this week? What is it that I haven't realized? I hate feeling like this, I know this sounds and more reflects the mind of a crazy person but I honestly felt like "If I put my thoughts down on paper I'd make more sense of the puzzle and solve it so I can move on."

But how do you solve a puzzle that has no answer....

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dude, You so need to get laid

You sound like you're losing it.

10:48 PM  

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