April 30, 2007

Soundboard: "The Games That We Play..."

We all generally believe in something, God, Lady Fate, Destiny, The Powers That Be, something.

They say that all experiences we face are designed to teach us, to help us grow in life and that no matter how fucked up things go in life, that it's to help us. Well I guess it was my turn.

For all of you who've been with TBF since the beginning or at the very least are somewhat familiar with my back story, then prepare to be surprised.

Sunday afternoon I was walking through the mall with Emile and I was just telling him about how I was taking a month off TBF due to burnout and I was explaining how my heart just wasn't in it and I look straight ahead and there she was... SARAH.

Now here's the complete play by play on what happened:

I looked straight and I see her, she sees me, I freeze in place, Emile runs over and tells me that I look white like I just saw a ghost and boom he sees her and says: HOLY SHIT IT'S SARAH!!!

She waves at us and my eyes just start locking on her and I start visibly shaking, and I was pissed. She starts off by asking if I was still mad...

Now if I'm shaking Ladies and Gentlemen, it's because of two reasons:

#1 I'm suffering from Hypothermia, and I'm gonna die if I don't get warm within 30 minutes.

or

#2 I'm pissed to a level of pissed that can only be described as "Biblical" and which means I'm gonna do something that at most could be described as "Horrifying, Graphic, Inhuman, and to a degree just plain Evil"

Thankfully I muster enough control to storm off before all that I described could occur. I go around the corner and I'm still shaking and I felt lightheaded and I feel like my legs are gonna give out and Emile puts me in a bench and I'm sitting there for like five minutes and I'm there and the same time I'm not there...

Emile's trying to talk me and i realized that I had a whole new set of feelings and some feelings that I haven't felt in a long time and i finally look at him and I stood up and walked back over to her with a vengeance.

I stood there in front of her and we said our "Hi"s and she first tells me "Guess what, I had my baby!" I say "congratulations" in a sarcastic tone, she going on saying how she's happy and says to me: "So, what's new?" now at this point I'm looking at her with a face that says it all "Are you fucking kidding me?", She goes on saying that she admits that a lot of what happened to me was from her end and how none of it was my fault and was surprised that I was bothered by how things ended so much and at this point Emile says what I was pretty much thinking...

"YOU'RE A FUCKING BITCH!!!"

And she just keeps asking if I had anything new going on, And I finally tell her the truth, "I was emotionally shut down for the last ten months/ I was dealing with depression/ I'm starting to feel like myself again" and all she said was... "hmm."

One thing you should note is that she acted like she really didn't care and she NEVER actually apologized once for everything that happend.

So she says to me "So can I call you sometime??" and I just set her straight "Actually no, It's better that we never speak again. Congratulations on being happy and on your new life, Goodbye." and then she says "So, I'll see you around??" and I simply say "Don't hold your breath..."

Now going back to my opening about believing in something, I don't know whether this was aimed to hurt or to what but I take that whole situation as this:

The Powers That Be knew I was hurting and they knew I had lost my passion, so TPTB decided to throw me a bone, I finally got mine and now:

BLOOD'S PUMPING, HEART'S RACING, FIRE'S IN MY EYES

or to be more to the point:

THE MAN IN BLACK IS BACK AND HE'S FUCKING READY TO PLAY AND I GOT TO SAY KIDS, I FEEL FUCKING GOOD!!!

So this Friday, expect The Brian Factor back with a vengeance.

I know Marie will be happy and honestly I'm finally happy.

Until Next Time,
-B

Labels:

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home