No BS, just a guy who needed to open his heart

I do this for everyone. I could want a million things in this world, but I'd gladly give them away if I could, to see a smile on someone's face when I know I brighten their day is to me a greater high that any drug. Many will disagree, many will say what I do is pointless... but fuck 'em.

It's easy to go through life hiding in the shadows and watching the world from a distance. I've done it for years. When I was younger and more confused I was told that I should end my life and make the world easier to deal with... and, honestly, for a time I actually considered it, but unfortunately I have this constant problem with always doing the opposite of what many want.

There is not a day that goes by where I wonder "Why me? What's so special about me?" I would give anything to know, but I'm not going to learn the answer in books or sitting on my ass; I'm only going to know by getting up and walking out the door and seeing where the winds take me. In my life I would like to fall in love with someone who actually loves me back; learn to deal with the mistakes of my father; actually give some people the greatest days of their lives; I want to say that I love who I am and I won't always have everything how I want but God knows I'll try.

I love my friends, for always being true to me, for never giving up on me even when they wanted to give up as well. I can honestly say that I love them just for loving me, and that's all I ever wanted.

I can want a million things, but everyone knows I'd give them away. All I can ever ask for is just the strength to keep making me who I am: an honest man, a true man, a honorable man and a man who will always hurt a little on the inside but will never lay down and die. I never could. And as for the future... maybe everything I want is right there waiting, maybe it's not, but I'll keep walking. Just 'cause....